Asklemmy

My rabbit acts disinterested by the treats I show her, but immediately goes for it as soon as I turn around.

And it's not like she's scared of me. Only when I try to give her something.

My cat is obsessed with my socks. If a load of clean laundry has been left too long before it gets folded and put away, my socks will be scattered throughout the house.

When fighting her brother, Cerys got him in a headlock with her back legs then reared up and went to fucking town with her forepaws on his head like it was bongos.

not exist

When my little terrier/chihuahua mix was a puppy she would give me a "hug" first thing In the morning. I'd sit up in bed and say "time to go to work" and she would put her front paws around my neck and press her face against mine. She eventually would do it on command. Then she had surgery to correct a luxating patella (knee cap pops out of place) and never did it again.

She also used to drag herself across the carpet with her front legs, back legs dragging behind her. We would call it "swimming".

Being part terrier she is very smart but also stubborn. When our senior dog passed, I taught her lots of tricks. One trick was to ring a bell when she wanted to go outside. I rigged up a donut shapped toy she could paw that was attached to a spring with a bell on it. She refused to ring it. I know she knew what to do, she just refused. When she wanted a treat she would paw the cabinet just like I taught her to paw the bell/toy. Eventually I gave up. Fast forward to a year later. We get another puppy and as soon as I try to teach new dog how to ring the bell she runs over and slams it. From that point on she slams the bell ten times a day.

My inlaws' cat makes makes it as difficult as possible to pet her when she likes it a lot. Doesn't sit still, if I pet her chin she twists her head away to show me the top of her head instead, keeps walking back and forth, and even lays belly up sometimes (and she does not like her belly touched at all).

I know she's liking it because she purrs like crazy, does not move away, if I stop looks at me until I start again. If in her walking back and forth I don't chase her and leave my hand out she moves into it for more pets.

I've developed some techniques to pet her two handed where she sits still for some reason. Like chin scritches with one hand coming from each side, she loves it.

If I scritch my cat just right on a certain spot on her back, she’ll immediately fall over onto her side to accept my offering of more back scritches. It works nearly every time.

My partner gets jealous because the cat refuses to fall over whenever he tries it.

My partner's Chihuahua hates gettint wet, but he has no problem yellowing his front leg when he pees. Also when he takes a shit, he moves on of his feet up and down slowly, like he is pumping the shit out.

He does not ever want you to stop petting him. When you take a break, he pushes his head into your hand or paws at it, much like a cat would do.

When I speak to him directly he'll often make really dumb faces

My one dog is very special. She likes to sleep with her head under the couch. She was not pleased when we got a new couch that her head wouldn't fit under. She sometimes runs into walls and falls off of sidewalks.

My other dog is entirely disinterested in toys. She does not play with them, ever.

My dog likes to steal things when we're out of the house and leave them on the stairs or on our bed.

She's not a breed that's known for having a particularly soft mouth, their claim to fame is probably the opposite if anything (malinois) so it's kind of impressive when I find an avocado or a martini glass somewhere unexpected without even the slightest bruise.

We joke that they're her "emotional support objects."

I made the mistake of letting my cat drink from a slow stream of running water in my bathroom sink ONE TIME and ever since then the little wench will not allow me to take a shit in peace, within seconds of me closing the bathroom door she starts scratching demanding me to turn the faucet on for her.

I'd buy her a fountain if I didn't know that she would still prefer the sink, in classic asshole cat form.

Both of my cats will never, I mean never, sit on my lap.

One likes to jump from side to side over me when I'm sleeping. She also lets me lay my head on her like a pillow.

One will play fetch like a dog. She will only eat her treats if I throw them.

They both know what push means when I tell them to open the door.

They both love drawers.

My boxer mix gets her wires crossed sometimes and quietly growls at me when she's excited, like when she can tell by my change of clothes that we're about to go for a walk. Sometimes it startles strangers but it's hard to be scared when her tail is wagging. The best part is when the vibration of her own growl tickles her throat and sinuses enough that she makes herself sneeze.

My cat used to go in my bathroom and yowl until I went in and got him. Now he has progressed to just yowling in any room with no people in it.

As far as I was concerned, cats puff up their tails in moments of stress/conflict to make themselves look bigger. My cats tail puffs up when I give him the good pets

Bonus photo

My cat has learned to say “Hello?” when he’s looking for me. It’s like “mherrrro?” It’s kind of amazing.

There are so many.. we've had 8 cats together, 4 currently. One of the younger brothers has his mouth open anytime he's awake. He just walks around like that and he looks stupid, and he is stupid. Dumbest cat I've ever had.

We had him x-rayed when we got his nuts cut this year. Every vet says they can't see anything physiological that would cause this. When he eats he uses his open lower jaw as a shovel then crunches. He sleeps with his mouth closed.

Edit to add- I watched him hunt and eat a camel cricket a couple days ago. He has no problem killing with his jaw, I swear he's just stupid. The vet I last saw jokingly called him a bit below average.

Sir Kitty was sensitive to the tone of my voice. If I was arguing with my husband, and especially if I was crying, he would come over, get on my lap if he can, and yell at both of us. (RIP July 2020, age 16) Here he is looking like he's comatose.

Pez used to use her front paws to hold her tail up so she could groom it. I know it's not super unusual, but she was the only one of our three who did that. (RIP November 2019, age 17+?) Here she is in the middle of a sneeze.

Murphy likes stinky socks and shoes. (Still kicking at 20+)

One of my cats loves to sit inside those little cardboard-esque drink holders.

The other loves cheese and ice cubes

I had a cat named Leia (my pets all have Star Wars names) and she would never eat normally. She snatched a piece out of the bowl and sometimes even chased it around the kitchen. This is why I could never give her wet food.

My snake likes to wrap around and ‘strangle’ watches. Not bracelets, just watches.

Our little dog used to let out these long, shuddering sighs when she was frustrated. I used to repeat it back to her, and picked up the habit. Even though we had to put her down a year and a half ago, I still occasionally let out her sigh.

My cat likes to sit in my jackets.

My 5yo cat can't sploot. She doesn't know how to, and she doesn't want to (when assisted).

My cat loves to sleep in.

It's common for people to semi-jokingly complain about their cats waking them for food every day. Mine doesn't do that.

If it's the weekend, and I sleep without an alarm, I'll rouse to my cat having joined me in bed, ready for a couple hours of snoozing as the sun comes up.

He's usually down to keep chilling in bed for hours and hours past when I usually feed him.