this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2024
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As Hurricane Milton approaches many cities were largely deserted but some people decided to shelter in place

Most left when they were told to. But some chose to stay, even though officials warned Hurricane Milton would turn their homes into coffins.

Along Florida’s Gulf coast, where millions of people were urged to get out of harm’s way, cities were largely deserted on Wednesday afternoon as time ran out to evacuate. Those who remained were advised to shelter in place as best they could. Others who fled spoke of their dread at what, if anything, they would return to once the storm had passed.

...

William Tokajer, police chief of Holmes Beach, told islanders who planned to stay to write their names, dates of birth and social security numbers on their limbs with Sharpies to help identify their bodies after the storm.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."

"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."

Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."

Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."

Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"

God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago
  • Has faith in the Lord
  • Believes that God saved Trump from assassin's bullet
  • Ergo: put Trump in the path of every hurricane, enjoy being protected by proximity.
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

The same lord that skullfucks your life right now?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

You don't put God to the test by putting yourself in a dangerous situation and expecting him to just save you from your own stupidity.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

God sent the evacuation alert for them. They used their free will to choose to stay. Even if you look at it from their perspective, it's a fucking stupid choice. XD

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A follower of God is supposed to obey the authorities up to the point it conflicts with God's requirements. Since most of God's laws are stricter/safer than most governments, they should not clash. Evac orders do not clash with God's laws, so they are to be followed.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

If Mary and Joseph went to Bethlehem for a census, surely evac orders should be followed one would think.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"The Lord" is telling you to fucking move. "The Lord" does not reach down from on high.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You've never seen an FE-5 twister

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I suppose the message from the lord in that case is "diiieee!?!"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Sure seems that way. They're known in tornado alley as "The Finger of Gawd"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

I distinctly remember God had Noah build the boat himself...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Someone better be polishing the Darwin Awards.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

The wind does not respect a fool.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

That faith won't keep the water out, stupid. Man, nothing fails like prayer.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe it's because I'm not from hurricane country, but I'll never understand why people refuse to leave when told. Are they afraid looters are going to get their stuff? Then just file an insurance claim when you get back. People seem so obstinately stubborn about it for no discernable reason.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Some people don't leave because they have nowhere to go.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

And no insurance

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The biggest problem, 25% (or however many) will survive this and be unharmed. Those are the ones others will hear about because god saved them. It will not matter how many believers died.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

It's always fascinating to read people out of hurricane-prone areas' take on the expected survival rates for hurricanes. Absolutely amazing that you think only ~25% would survive. Andrew killed 0.0002% of Florida's population (65 deaths), and it was the most destructive hurricane in Florida history.

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