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this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2024
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algebra rule 34
At the risk of outing the extreme perversity of my sick mind, I present the following math problems for your edification and enjoyment...
TW: Age-play
All participants are adult, even when otherwise is implied. Cat magic.
Yes, they are real math problems. I wrote up a bunch for a failed scene decades ago.
Enjoy.
Travel: On a road trip daddy is letting Tiffany steer the car. While Tiffany bounces softly on daddyβs lap, daddy is casually accelerating six miles per hour per minute. How far to they travel from the point theyβre going 30 mph to when theyβre going 90 mph?
Snack Time: Leslie is eating an enormous double-scooped ice-cream cone while Brenda is sucking on a huge Popsicle. Leslie's long licks up the side and along the top of her two scoops each average 8 seconds and 5 such licks consume an ounce of ice cream. Meanwhile, Brenda's sucking strokes are only 4 seconds long. But the juice-bar is so big she can only contain 2 inches of frozen fruity goodness in her mouth at a time. It takes 20 such strokes for Brenda to wear away an inch of her tasty treat. If Leslieβs ice cream cone is 16 ounces and Brendaβs Popsicle is 9 inches long, and it takes Leslie just as long to eat the cone as it does Brenda the last two inches of Popsicle, then which girl will finish their snack first, and by how much time?
Sleep Time: On Friday night, Teresa has a slumber party with six other girls. Daddy takes 30 minutes to tuck Teresa in, plus 5 minutes each to tuck in the other girls at the party, except Veronica with whom he takes 45 minutes. Daddy also takes 20 minutes to tuck in Teresa's little sister, Holly, and an hour to tuck in Teresa's older sister, Barbie. At what time does Daddy have to start getting girls ready for bed in order to have them all in bed by 10:00 pm?
I was not ready for the truly unholy unit of mile per hour per minute
I mean that's just how acceleration works. Speed is distance over time, acceleration is change in speed over time, hence distance over time (speed) over time
That's not the problem. Coming from metric, I expected m s^-2^ for acceleration. The imperial units for distances are weird enough in their own right β but using two different units of time for the two time derivatives is truly unholy.
I use mph because that's what the speedometer reads. But mile/minΒ² is easy to compute by dividing mile/hr/min by 60. Once the starting and ending speed are converted (assuming impulse is a constant) the law of accelleration neatly applies.
See I glossed over that because that's an entirely nonsensical issue. Do you measure the speed of your vehicle based off how much distance you cover per second or per hour? And then there's the fact that it's a math problem, written at roughly a middle school level - half the problem is figuring out how long it takes them to get up to the desired speed and if they did that in a person hour scale it would leave almost no math for the student to do
Especially in a middle school math/physics setting, I would expect reasonable units. Otherwise, how would kids understand the relationship between force and acceleration? Do you use mile / hour / min for the acceleration due to gravity as well? Do you have a funky replacement for Newton too?
What is daddy doing with Barbie and Veronica?
Actuarial consultation, obviously.
You guys are getting sex with your math?
What sentences make sense both in math and in a sex scene?
- These are some nice curves you've got, and that's no hyperbole.
Well here's someone putting unnecessary math into their sex scene:
Sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply.
If you are in possession of a penis, pull your pants down slightly and put said penis in someone's mouth, you achieve clothed oral sex outside of bed without dividing any legs and any chance of multiplying.
So nope.
Nice dick, bro, but I should emphasise that this can't be just anyone's mouth and you should check that the other person is enthusiastic about it all before beginning.
thanks and sure
i just tried to keep the situation as simple as possible for the thought experiment
This is what my family thinks public school is like
If my math classes had had some sex scenes, maybe I wouldn't have been so useless at it.
I would be more useless :).
Solve for x to see the money shot.
What is the context for this? I am extremely entertained by the idea that this might be a thing.
It's just an edit of this meme
several alphabets, in fact
once you run out of Latin letters you start using Greek, Hebrew, Fraktur, etc
I like using Japanese kana in my homework. I'm learning the language, and it helps with calming down after the rage of "what the hell is this thing, that doesn't make any sense???"
As a result, i have to prove that the set γΎ is open.
I like that! I should start using Kana or cursive Cyrillic in my derivations to mess with the professors
Or fancy letters, like the L in a Laplace transformation.
Also a good way to start an essay
And if that's not enough, you just straight up make up new symbols, like Nabla
Ah yes, because other science fields like linguistics would never just grab random letters and turn them upside down to repurpose them!
ΙΙΙΙ... What do you mean? /j
There exist a mirroded E
Any upsidedown A in the set of all real characters used in academia would immediately illicit mathematical memories.
Did you mean ALL the upside up A?
Nope, it means "for any" as in no matter which one you choose it will be correct.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_quantification
I usually used it as "for all", but its looks like "for any" is used too
I sit corrected. It's used as an arbitrary singular value within the proof, so for any always felt more appropriate.
Wait till you hear about the sickos using arabic numbers
The woke mind virus strikes again. I use English numbers like 7 LIKE A REAL AMERICAN π¦ π¦ π¦ πΊπΈπΊπΈπΊπΈ
/s incase it wasnβt obvious
What
...is the speed of a cumshot that reaches its target's mouth 1 ft away in 0.28 seconds? Assume 6 mls of splooge. What is the transfer rate? If 80% of it hits the target and is immediately swallowed, what is the rate of loss?
It seems we've had a very different math lessons.
I went to catholic school
So no classes but lots of extra credit?
Bingo
Yeah, feels like I'm missing something here.