this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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United States | News & Politics

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WINDER, GA—In the hours following a violent rampage in Georgia in which a lone attacker killed at least four individuals and injured nine others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Wednesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place...

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Like the Daily Show, the Onion is being driven to actual journalism by the increasing absurdity of the world we live in.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Do they publish this every time there's a school shooting? Swear I've seen this before.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

There is a wikipedia article about it.

They say it's a recuring series and they are on number 37.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Yes. It does help drive the point home

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

37 times and counting. Part of the joke is that they just change a few words to localize each shooting, as no one has done anything at all to address the issue since they first published the original article in 2014.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Dumping antidepressants in the water is starting to look more and more effective as a mechanism for positive change in America.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Brave New World.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Merica sends their thoughts and prayers

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Merica doesn’t actually give a shit either way. I’m surprised we aren’t keeping some kind of public score board with the names and body counts.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The numbers are clear. On average, 1-2 mass shootings every single day.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Yeah, but like who is #1? Which state is #1? And where can I bet on the next mass shooting? If it’s not a game show by now, we are missing out on a billion dollar industry.

(Forgive my gallows humor)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

With the names of every republican lawmaker who refused common sense protections, and a total of how many schoolchildren, on average, each is responsible for murdering.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago

Oh, well that’s a list I’m okay with. 👍