this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2024
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Funny

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

The pic is of Mortadella, not ham.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

"Meat obelisk", "hubris manifest"... Yes! Write that down!
By the way, does anyone know of a "words that I like" community that collects such sonant pontifications? TV quotes, one or two words, swear alternatives, etc? Is ShowerThoughts the only place? There once was a ArgueLikeEnglishman sub, but it was short-lived on reddit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Maybe we could start a /c/cellardoor sub?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Maybe start !CobraChicken or what have you.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

"Prism of pork" got me good.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (2 children)

OP misunderstood the christian customer. He asked "Is that ham posessed?". Customer was just looking for training material for his remote learning "exorcism for beginners" course.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

When Jesus put a thousand demons into a bunch of pigs, they had to be alive enough to immediately run off a cliff.

This pissed off the entire town and got his ass chased out.

Matthew 8:28-34.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

The power of Christ kielbasa

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago

https://www.who.int/news-room/questions-and-answers/item/cancer-carcinogenicity-of-the-consumption-of-red-meat-and-processed-meat

Processed meat refers to meat that has been transformed through salting, curing, fermentation, smoking, or other processes to enhance flavour or improve preservation. Most processed meats contain pork or beef, but processed meats may also contain other red meats, poultry, offal, or meat by-products such as blood.

Before anyone asks, no, 'salt' doesn't refer to sodium chloride in this context but rather curing salt or sodium nitrite.

'Unprocessed ham' is just a consumer term for 'uncured ham', which ironically is still cured, just with sodium chloride and not sodium nitrite. But sure let's pretend every 'Ma'am' asking for nitrite-free ham is just a homeopathic dunce asking for the non-existent.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Very Monty Python-esque.

E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!!

THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I see your ham slab and raise you a rafe15 pikachu.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

This makes meat obelisk slices sound more appealing to me. And now I'm hungry.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You must gnaw on the buttocks of a living pig.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

Don't talk about my mother like that

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

When I worked in a meat packing factory one summer these things fucking stank!!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

It is a physical deceleration of man's contempt for the natural order.

💯 💯 💯 💯 💯

You are not hunting for food in Wal-Mart. All your hippie "I was meant to eat this" arguments suck.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago (1 children)

All ham is processed isn't it? Salted and smoked.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 months ago (3 children)

You can get uncured ham -- it's a reference to the cut of meat. In this case, the "butt" of the pig just above the rear leg.

Source: grew up on pig farm

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

My Irish grandma regularly cooked Roast Butt. My cousin and I would regularly giggle.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Ahh thanks for clarifying. But the devil advocate in me is thinking 'If it's been cut, it's been processed'

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

By that logic a steak is processed beef. But yeah there's a bit of a subjective line in the sand - all food goes through a process of some sort. Even veggies have to be picked, sorted, and washed.

Generally what is meant by processed is either food that's undergone a preservative process or food with additives to make a secondary product. Like American cheese is processed cheese because it has additives after the original cheese process.

Generally butchery or packaging is not the colloquial bar for 'processed'.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Just bite into the pigs ass, as god intended

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

By the end of that, you'd expect slimy worms crawling out of that ham...

[–] [email protected] 39 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Meat obelisk.

I too have played warframe.

Weirdly that's not the most bizarre thing in the lore.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Time is an illusion. And so is death.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Time is an illusion.

Lunchtime doubly so.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

You must be a hoopy frood.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

I really know where my towel is!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I'll take two .... I'll meet the forklift operators out front to tell them where to load them all

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Saved for later. Cheers.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago (2 children)

"Okay, one raw ham coming up"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Prosciutto?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

It's organic because it's mostly organs.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

“I like to eat my ham,

it makes me feel like shmam.

Have you seen the movie ‘Kazaam’?

But back to ham.

Did you know that an imam is a man

who leads prayers in a mosque?

What if you pronounced imam ‘i-mam’?

Would that make you think of ham?

My name is Stan.

Ham”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

You took the ham.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

In the eyes of the gods .... we are all meat obelisks

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

2001: A Space Delicacy