I love this. baaaad logos
this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2024
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Melbourne
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I have a meeting about the conclusion of my performance agreement at work tomorrow.
It's at 4pm on the last day of the pay cycle so I'm preparing myself for the worst
Fingers crossed for you mate π€πΎ
π€
Got a recommend for a YT video "tiny home on wheels is stunning" π€‘
um, that's called living in your car π«
The Void is unimpressed with his diet. Both our knees are nastily niped
WTF. I just saw the news about a man who poured a thermos of hot coffee on a baby.
Well... it's in. The assignment is in - but I feel so thoroughly muted about it because it turns out my supervisor had to go through what I'd written with a lot of red ~~ink~~ pixels and rewrite a chunk of it. He wasn't at all trying to put me down, if anything just help me so I'd get this across the line, but I feel like I have such a long, long, long way to go and I might have bitten off more than I can chew. I really feel quite low about how limited my brain capacity is compared to 5 years ago. Would love to have some kind of win this week to feel better about myself :(
so many hugs, sounds like you need a holiday
I really was hoping to go visit my aunt at the end of the month for a break + TLC but it seems like she might have other plans (lots going on in her life as well). I might head to my hidey hole in NSW if she isn't available. I really would like to unplug for a bit
As counter-intuitive as it sounds having a supervisor being that interested in laying down a lot of red... is a win :)
I agree, it's a win.
two things are worse than having someone help edit
someone who gives praise and does nothing when it really does need help
someone who puts down for no reason when the work is perfectly fine
but i get it, it's a bit of an ego bruise
hugs
For sure, I have been very lucky to have a supportive mentor, I just feel like I've failed him (and myself) a bit - but better not to dwell on it, onward we go, even if the end result isn't really ground breaking or entirely my idea, I'll have learned something from it I hope.
having a mentor is the most wonderful thing in the world π₯Ή
I have a personal computer for the first time in over four years (my last company was very lax and I used their laptop for most things). Now I have Steam installed for first time in just as long. Very excite
Even at lax places I've never been able to get past knowing they can look at my web history and that it's technically not my computer, plus there's always those user account controls that mean I couldn't install anything.
What did you end up getting?
I got: Lenovo LOQ 15.6" FHD 144Hz Gaming Laptop (Intel Core i5)[GeForce RTX 2050]. The only game I'll play is Dota 2 probably so this should do the trick nicely
It's good you know what you need it for. I built a pretty hectic PC a little while ago and the most intensive thing I play I'd Elden Ring. Otherwise I'm happy with older games. I probably didn't need to go that hard with the specs
The peregrine are back in the city. I think she has laid two eggs so far https://www.youtube.com/live/VLLNNTjaSEA?si=NIcrIT3OZVQUcPHr
well that was exciting
a tempest came through the north just as I was just coming home
of course I didn't have my raincoat on nor a hair tie.
Traffic lights are down corner Sussex St and Bell St Pascoe Vale South, and police are directing traffic. Haven't seen police directing traffic for ages.
really long safety+organisation+life+mental health uodates
Today's the 50th day since I returned and found all the damage and theft of my belongings. They've just about all been replaced now, there's a couple of cables I've noticed missing, and one of the replacement things didn't include a cable, but that's about it.
They installed that gate thingy, but forgot to get the parts they need to make it actually work. It's on un-detachable gears and pulleys, so it's basically stuck open and doesn't do anything. They measured all the door frames (most of them are cracked from where he fucked around with the locks), but apparently the tradie man forgot how to measure properly, so he came to redo it today.
ALLEGEDLY someone will be out to install new door frames and such tomorrow, but there's probably no guarantees on that. They seem confused about if that's actually happening or not. Apparently they're installing proper security cameras tomorrow, and apparently on Friday the locksmith will come past to fix the shed lock.
AFAIK the deadbolt for the front door was knocked back, but it's not that bad I suppose as the screen door essentially functions as an external deadbolt. I always lock that, so it's fine. I'm worried that once that change the doors and door frames though, they'll also change the locks to shitty ones that locksmith referred to as "night locks". They're easily opened by shimmering a butter knife down the side, or honestly even giving it a firm shoulder (it doesn't even damages the lock, because it barely sits in there!). Don't know what in house safety that'll leave me, except to hope and prey they don't move another drop kick in.
The program manager has been on "unplanned personal leave" for 2 or 3 weeks at this point. Not sure what's happened, she was just here one day and then hasn't come back since. The "case management practitioner supervisor" has been talking at me a lot. She gives kind of assistant manager vibes. Doesn't have a whole lot of say in anything, so compensates by having little ego and power trips. The bloke above her, the regional manager, doesn't seem that bad kind of, he's so far maintained a professional demeanor with me, but he's not too keen on doing very much and acts a lot more like a penny pinching CEO than anything else.
The org case manager took an "unplanned half day" on Monday, and no showed to a meeting we had scheduled. I, along with the 11 other people attending the meeting, just had to chill in the teams waiting room (which I super wish allowed cross-attendee conversations), and after about 15 minutes I ended up being the one to tell everyone the meeting had been cancelled and telling them they could leave. Even though I wasn't running the damn thing.
On the DL, it seems that most of my care team and workers are all pretty pissed about the way things are running. Apparently they cancelled another meeting a week prior with 15 minutes notice.
I took to calling the "case management practitioner supervisor" (who seems to do more than supervise, and is temporarily program managing too), every single day about the security gate and other arrangements. I'm super pissed about it, it feels like they've kind of relegated my safety to concern number #45. There's still no active protection keeping me safe, and I'm still here on my own. It also feels horrific that the other dude seems to get off on intimidation more than anything else, and nothing's actually been done to stop that. The cops haven't followed up about him tearing up the lawn, or the theft and damage, the gate is still non functional, the gate still doesn't have a lock (besides my unapproved padlocks).
I still freak out and spiral into a panic everytime I hear a particularly loud motorcycle, and I check my cameras at every noise. I still have a constant fear that he's somehow inside the house, and I still wake up at 2 or 3am in a sweat with a looming sense of terror that somebody is standing over me.
In the last couple of weeks, I seem to have a lot of repressed rage that sometimes bubbles up. I'm usually able to keep it repressed, but every couple of days, something minor seeming will happen and ploop I'm in a blind rage. That was the main reason for taking my Lemmy break, I don't want to run the risk of that happening on some unsuspecting soul here. I'm seeing a psych weekly (her suggestion + child protection is paying the gap, and will pick up the rest of the costs for 6 months until I turn 18). It's helping, but the primary focus has been on other things, with this as secondary.
Tafe has been a useful distraction. Being completely dumbfounded about how their LMS works, and how different it is from high school has been a useful distraction from everything else. Besides that, I've been trying to throw myself into my projects, but some of them just annoyed me too much so I temporarily gave up.
Dude Iβm so sorry.
If itβs any consolation those absences probably mean shit is hitting the fan for a few staff behind the scenes over this fiasco, and the power trips are just her pettily taking that out on you. Classic HR behaviour. But it really doesnβt help the lasting effect youβre experiencing.
Btw the rage is incredibly normal in the circumstances and along with the rest may be a symptom of ptsd. Iβm really hoping one day you can get well away from these incompetent chucklefucks because what youβre going through is so difficult.
Iβm wondering if (for now) you can jam a chair under the door handle for extra reinforcement or warning, put metal pots that would topple making noise, and keep an uncapped can of oven cleaner spray handy?
At least then it would be a more specific sound heralding trouble so you might feel less jumpy at smaller noises, and you would have something to grab if you felt threatened. Whatever helps.
Edit: Even just a firm door wedge or a temporary lock might be some protection, delay, or help alert you.
You can even improvise with a fork which isnβt perfect but is something that can be done fairly quickly short term to give some early warning.
Ps. I hope this unsolicited advice isnβt stressing you out worse or making you angry. Itβs a bad habit of mine. Just hoping there might be some comfort or something workable in there.
Thanks Melba. You're probably right, at least I kind of hope someone's copping it. But I doubt it. I think everyone's gotten off mostly scott free, because the program manager, and area manager were on leave, and the "case management practitioner supervisor" had been sacked. And of course, nobody ever wants to rock the boat when in an interim role, so I think child protection exploited that as well, I've seen it happen before so it wouldn't be unsurprising
There's just 198 days until I turn 18, and then these people don't really have a say in my life. However, I will likely still live here anywhere between an extra 6 months and year after I turn 18, although then I'll have even less recourse in such situations
I can jam things in the door, but I'm not sure it's really worth it. I already know that there's nobody either in the house or my room, it's just trying to teach my brain to comprehend that at 2:30 in the morning that's an issue.
I don't have oven cleaner, but always have something I know how to improvise with in case of self defence. I don't keep a knife in my room anymore, because that does seem a little OTT and paranoid, but there's always something. I also got a bright torch off Amazon (technically we're meant to have one of those giant ones in the evacuation kit, but the last one was noticed to be completely corroded and smashed about 6 months ago, and they've yet to replace it). It has a strobing function, which might be useful, although I do wonder about the effectiveness of them.
If the new doors and frames do result in shitty locks, I'll probably have to figure out how to install one myself. That's probably a rather bad idea, so I'll definitely have to see what happens next before I do anything like that, but it's a possibility I have shoved away in the back of my mind if it's ever as bad as it was again
Also probably worth noting: I have security cameras all over the property, and as of today, there's now proper ones with a UPS as well. It is technically possible to get into the house by breaking into the neighbours backyard, then jumping the side fence, then shimmeying a window up, but it doesn't seem super likely. So I'll always have advanced notice if he returns
And no, absolutely not. I appreciate the advice and suggestions
These organisations are all about saving face but I suspect at least some manure is flying behind the scenes.
And yeah, I totally get it.
God, that whole situation sounds awful. You're doing the right thing by pushing and calling everyday to follow up on things.
Learning that LMS will keep you busy. They're done of the worst programs ever made. At least you have something to take your mind off things
Thanks tom. I've honestly been beginning to wonder if I'm putting unfair expectations up, mostly due to the absolute apatheticness most people involved irl seem to show. I did get some hopefully good news about an hour after I posted that. The "case management practitioner supervisor" sent me a text to say that "a number of builders will be there replacing the door frames and people for the cctv stuff". I'm a little worried about their implementation, as before the doors may make the situation worse if they don't reuse the same locks, and the cctv system might end up being installed in some office somewhere monitored by randos. AFAIK it won't be on premises. It'll be proper corporate type surveillance, so remote monitoring (by the people living here anyways) won't be a thing. But if it's like the ones they put in resis, it also has extremely good night sight
And yes, I've never used something that looks so modern, yet acts like it hasn't been redesigned since 4kbps was the average internet speed! I had a zoom call earlier with a "success coach" from the TAFE who walked me through how to use it and what to do. Seems I can safely ignore most of the buttons, which is nice. But there's still a bit to figure out
Not unfair expectations at all.
They royally fucked up and failed to protect you. And theyβre still failing to protect you.
So many hugs.
Thanks SG. I just want to say that I really appreciate how much of a rock you and the rest of the DT regs have been through the entire ordeal. It helps to have somewhere to vent that isn't biased towards the org
more hugs
More thanks
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