Mental Health

Anything you want to discuss?

I feel you. I have been pretty low the last two weeks, but not low enough to go see my drs, yet. My kids are what keep me here. I feel bad saying that, and how other people could take that, but it's what stops me.

I am a few months medicated now to manage my depression and AuDHD as a middle aged guy. Hyper focusing on my mental health is getting pretty draining and I'm agonising so much over the negative. I've found talking helps, but just struggling with the day to day work / life at the moment.

I'm terrified of having another breakdown and there are so many possibilities to process. Fuck my brain.

Saying that though, I've got to stop being so hard on myself too, and think of how far I have come over the last two years in this journey. I should be proud of the changes I've made in myself and the impact that has had on everyone around me.

I'm pretty sure I can do this, but then , the world is just fucking insane right now, who knows what the fuck this rollercoaster of life will throw at us tomorrow.

I hope you are ok friend. We need to look out for each other. I am trying.

Edit: On second thoughts, maybe detailing my own mental health wasn't the distraction you were after? If then, sorry mate!

Bit over this cold weather though. Our houses in Aus are fucked. 21°C/10°C min/max the last few weeks, with periods of rain or just blue skies. Never been this fucking cold in my life. Maybe it's my old age and the combo of loosing a bit of weight lately, fuck fuck, it's cold. Wish my house was better insulated from the weather.

It's 26°C (79°F) here in Toronto.

https://weather.gc.ca/en/location/index.html?coords=43.655%2C-79.383

(10:04 AM EDT. 18 June 2025)

I'm lying in bed waiting for my partner to finish in the bathroom before we pass out together. It's late.

Tomorrow someone is coming to pick up a washing machine I'm giving away. I hope they ask about the free fridge as well. I hope they're not weird.

Fly halfway across the country in a couple days to our new digs. Looks boring af. I'll have to go scouring the neighbourhood for props to lift so I can get some indoor plants going.

A few days ago I was sitting in a public park. There were no other people close to me in the park. The sun was shining in a mostly cloudless sky and some of the taller trees were casting shadows on the grass. A gust of wind would blow through and the sounds of all the leaves from the trees made that pleasant rushing sound before ebbing away with the retreat of the wind. The smell of Earth was strong, like freshly turned soil. There were birds and insects, unseen, but loudly calling to each other oblivious to me in the park with them. I heard a commotion from the underbrush not far away, and see three squirrels chattering and giving chase to one another. It was very pleasant!

I wish I could have packaged this moment in the park in a bottle and give it to you to experience right now. A bottle of peace and contentment, as long as you don't mind the chatty squirrels.

Also depressed, feel trapped by reality.