this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
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Unpopular Opinion

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Schools shouldn't be treated as these magical places where you're put in at some age and over a decade later you emerge a complete human being. You have parents and you spend more time at home than at school for a reason: you're supposed to learn from your parents.

A school can potentially give you a degree of financial literacy instruction. Your parents should be the ones paying your allowance money and driving you to the bank to get your first checking account. A school can teach you how to cook something. Your parents should be the ones eating your food and helping you cook it better. A school can show you some level of DIY. Your parents should directly benefit from teaching you how to fix the sink when it gets clogged. A school can tell you what kinds of careers exist. Your parents should love you enough to tell you that either your career ambitions or your financial expectations need to change. A school can tell you how to build a resume. Your parents should be the ones driving you to your job interview and to your job until you buy your first car. A school can give you a failing grade when you do poorly on a test. Your parents should be able to make you face the real, in-the-moment consequences of doing something wrong.

Expecting a school, public or private, to teach you everything you need to know is a grave mistake. You need people in your corner who are taking an active part in raising you all the way to adulthood and beyond. If you have kids yourself, that goes for them as well. If you aren't there for your children, to teach them the things that schools don't teach because they can't mass produce the lessons to nearly the same quality that you can give them, they'll blame you and the school for having failed them. And they'd be right to lay the blame at your feet.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (8 children)

Here's one, from what does money derive its value?

I mean, its the most important thing in our society. You'd think that they would make sure it was really hammered home.

Now, you'll be told that it has value simply because we believe it does which isn't untrue. Theyll say, you know, it's like gold that doesn't actually hold any value. We just believe it really hard.

The problem is, we value that gold is shiny, imperishable and we can make pretty things out of it. We didn't have a big meeting and just randomly decide that gold would be valuable.

Another problem is that money is an iou. Except its, apparently, an iou that isn't own to anyone and doesn't have to be repaid, making it fall short of the criteria for it being an iou.

Tbf our economists dont really need to think about that, as, due to how money is created and destroyed, the position nets off due to the debt being repaid, despite the above. Theres no need to consider the non hypothetical part.

What if the underlying asset was human labour? You know, like how cotton, sugar and steel used to be used as currency in Virginia, the west indies and Sheffield respectfully. Its just that we live in human labour farm and you're living capital. To me, considering modern monetary policy, its the only thing that makes sense.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The people who say "why doesn't school teach this" are the people who wouldn't learn it in school if they did. Also, some schools do teach it.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Agreed. It amazes me how little responsibility parents want to have for the education of their own children. We outsource it like a chore.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Many people's parents are not present in their lives at all or don't have these skills themselves to be able to pass on. What you're proposing will just result in more people growing up without these skills. School should teach a person everything they need to know for adulthood to ensure that everyone has the chance to learn it. If your parents reinforce those lessons even better.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm proposing parents, or at least extended family members (which I should have mentioned), act as a family unit rather than letting the school do everything. Not only will this be a more efficient arrangement, because children are not metal sheets waiting to be stamped into the shape of an ideal person in a factory, but it will reinforce the failing bond within families today. This would lead to better educated, more intelligent, and happier young people.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yes in a perfect world where everyone lives in a happy nuclear family that would be wonderful. That's not the world we live in and we need schools to fill the gaps and provide support for the children that don't have a home life that can support them. You can have both the school and parents teaching them but if you have neither it leads to shitty outcomes.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I know the nuclear family isn't always possible. If it isn't, then a few aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. should be in the home as well. Schools have their utility, but by no means should they replace parents in all but the most dire of circumstances.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Dude thinks everyone has parents like him, elaborates that no learning of vital information in school is necessary if he himself got the knowledge from his parents.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 1 month ago (8 children)

I said "should," not "will." This post is more an indictment of idiots, abusers, and sloths who decide to become parents, than it is a jab at this particular genre of nonfiction. It's more popular to say "school should have taught me this" than "my parents should have taught me this."

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Some of your examples are just senseless. People don’t have DIY skills because of the increasing specialisation of our society. We’re not at home learning how to fix things, because we’re in school learning how to do other things instead.

This has been the case for so long in some places that a lot of peoples parents don’t have those skills to pass on in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

Boy, if only we had access to a globe-spanning network of computers that could give us access to information on how to perform basic repairs and small construction projects. If we had that we'd be able to teach ourselves the skills necessary to save hundreds or even thousands of dollars a year by not calling a professional to do simple work.

Too bad such an information network is just a fantasy and everyone is completely helpless. We had better resign ourselves to not even try to solve our own problems.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Isn't that quite a bit degenerative? I think everyone should have at least some basic skills.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

It is degenerative, which is the point of the argument.

We fostered a society where both parents work, often far away from where they live. The time normally and naturally allotted to educating your own children has been steadily shrinking to make room for an education that normally lasts until adulthood. The expectation now being that your children will not pick up the family trade.

For some people, this trade off has been degenerative in some aspects, and that’s why they complain ‘school never taught me x’.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i for one don't think we should rely on parents to make sure children live good lives, as controversial an opinion as that may be..

the idea of expecting at most 2 people to be wholly responsible for a child's upbringing is absolutely crazy, i don't understand how it has become standard practice. For most of humanity's history children were a communal responsibility, we need to bring back neighbourhood grandmas.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

‘It takes a village to raise a child’. Still true now as it ever was…we just seem to have lost our villages.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My kids definitely spend more waking hours at school. If they're doing extracurricular activities it isn't unusual for them to be gone from 7a to 9p. The earliest they get home is 6p. Oh and then they still have homework.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fair point, but those activities are optional and they still need support from the parents to carry on. When I got out of high school in the US about a decade ago, we were getting let out of school at 2-3PM. The latest I ever stayed was probably 5PM for a club. Even so, you're providing food and shelter for them, you raised them from birth to when they could start going to school, and you probably want to be there for them in some way after they graduate from school, while they're in college, and beyond. Schools are too limited in scope to do all that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeahy my oldest is 19 and she did a semester in the college dorms but she's back home now. And actually she'll listen to us now. When she was 17 she didn't hear anything we said. We tried to teach her some of these things but she knew it already. Until she realized she didn't. She's knocking out some debt really quickly now, she's doing really well.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago

That's good to hear. Teens can be tough, but I'm glad you're there for them.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I'm from Eastern Europe so my take might be country specific and factually wrong from US perspective.

I also like to think about this from the teachers perspective. The common sentiment of why do we learn X when it won't be necessary for day-to-day life later is such a misplaced sense of disappointment on the kids and the parents part.

As an educator it's true that one's teaching with their whole being - be that e.g.: attitude and other non strictly subject related attributes. But in the current system - where the output requirement for high school does not include knowledge about the taxes, loans and other common sense skills - it's pointless to expect anything else from the teacher than what's in the curriculum.

Currently the point of high school is to get you prepared for your final exams (SAT in the US) in order to pursue higher education. That's it. If the teacher is better than average then you might get something else in the process. Something more than just knowledge about a subject.

I agree that getting skills to adapt to challenges should be emphasized more than lexical knowledge. This is not embraced by the current curriculum in Hungary but this is my point exactly. It's a systemic issue that cannot be fixed by expecting more from teachers.

EDIT: english can be hard.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago

Here in the US, it was common for my high school teachers to lament the curriculum they had to work from but still stick with it. The purpose of schools here is pretty similar, as well: prepare you for college so you can do what you really want to in life. Lots of people seem to think that you should be taught everything that is appropriate for your age in school, but I disagree. That's forgetting the role of your parents.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Also, many of the things these people claim school didn't teach them were actually taught in school. Maybe not directly, but in most cases schools do teach all the basic things one needs to do, for example, a tax return. They simply didn't pay attention.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago

That too. The lessons are so boring that nothing is actually learned, time and money are wasted trying to teach something to people who do not want to learn.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There are some topics that are just boring and not relevant to kids, even if those topics are important for them later as adults.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago

And forcing them to sit through those topics at school when they're so bored they will immediately memory hole the whole semester is a waste of everyone's time. Your parents should be able to sit down with you and show you why what they're teaching you matters, and know when to teach it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think some stuff is on the person themselves as well to be honest. The one I hear a lot is about “School should have taught us about taxes”. Except that school probably did teach you, it taught reading, maths, and general research (Google) skills.

The tax code changes all the time so it would be pointless to teach you about it 5-10 years before you’ll actually be doing it.

Plus the people I’ve heard this from in my own life, have been people that I know would not have paid attention to it in school anyway

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Okay, I can kind of sort of get behind you on this but, there should be at least like a basic civics class that covers the general topics that you are likely to encounter as a functioning adult in society.

My mom let me do our taxes when I was 13.

She then reviewed what I had done, helping me along the way of course, and pointed out some things that I had missed.

When I was 14 I got to do them again, and she reviewed them and noted that I had done them very well. I have never had any issues doing my taxes as an adult and I've never paid a preparer to do my taxes for me.

This simple experiment has saved me several hundred dollars if not several thousand dollars over my life.

And it was literally easier for her because she had to do less work.

So I agree with the original poster that parents should be responsible for teaching their children all of the things that school will not teach them, and I also agree with you that it's not that much to expect people to learn these things for themselves.

But, I also have to throw in the fact that I have always been an exceptional learner, and so I can't compare my own experiences with that of the average because I don't know how much my innate thirst for knowledge has biased me towards competence in this area above that of my peers.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

My dad did the same thing with me. It was obviously very helpful, but it’s not like there isn’t an obvious prerequisite.

Not everyone’s parents are financially competent nor will they have the time to successfully coordinate an effort like that on top of everything else they might be required to do.

Additionally, what function do we expect of school? Is it to equalise, for young adults, those opportunities normally limited by education? Then it should teach those things which are important that not everyone’s parents are capable of teaching.

The other point is that school is the main temporal and logistical barrier to actually teaching your children as a parent. Between work and school and the other bureaucratic necessities of life, there isn’t always significant time a parent can spend with their child.

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