2026 headline: "Greg Abbott resigns after admitting to killing many young babies and having sex with his mother"
this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
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If no one in a party has anything left to say, is it still a party? Looking at you, republicans.
They're still capable of cooperating to carry out acts of violence, so yes.
Strange thing to say when anti-abortion policies are shown to increase infant mortality
Baby killer.
once their born their not babies and need to get a job and stop being leeches on society
Which is strange, because it's the old babies you have to watch out for.
Specially the piss babies.
Somebody, check this asshole’s closet for decomposing baby corpses.
It's Greg Abbott. He's crooked AF.
Wanna hear a fun story?
He's in that wheelchair because a neighbor's tree had a limb fall on him in '89. He sued and has gotten over 8.9 million dollars out of the deal. After he gained a position in the Texas government, he passed tort reform laws in Texas that capped everyone else's max payout to 250,000. He's the definition of a "Fuck you, I got mine." Republican.
He's my governor. But I sure as hell haven't voted for him.
I hope his caretaker forgets to lock his wheels and he rolls off a stage, down the street, and into a fire caused by CenterPoint's lack of vegetative maintenance.
He’s my governor. But I sure as hell haven’t voted for him.
You're welcome to come up here. We love our governor. enough that we might abduct him to keep him from being VP. (it's okay. peggy gonna be great too.)
I hope his caretaker forgets to lock his wheels and he rolls off a stage, down the street, and into a fire caused by CenterPoint’s lack of vegetative maintenance.
It's funny. I've always heard getting struck by lightning as being described as an act of god. Which really just makes me wonder... would the Secret Service or FBI notice that giant tesla coil left randomly on stage?
If it helps save democracy, its a sacrifice us Minnesotans are happy to make.
Tbh, it’s not even that much of a sacrifice. I honestly believe Peggy (our alt gov, for those wondering,) will be just as good.
But seriously. It’s like sharing ice cream. I’ll share because it’s the right thing, and I’ll even say I’m happy to. Im not being entirely honest though.
He’s that good. And so was Izzy’s Swedish garden party.
Look, if you want lightning I've got a model rocket, a guide wire, and a weather tracker.
Just tell me where you want your act of god and I'll get it all squared away.
Did CNN let Tapper have his spine back?
Perhaps, but the proximity to Abbott reduced it back to Jell-O consistency
Jake Tapper sucks and always will.