this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2024
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I usually avoid politics on this community but thought this article kinda fit

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

'no empathy' people are wrong about cons. They have empathy but it is selectively turned off for certain groups because they have been conditioned to be afraid or disgusted by them. This isn't an excuse but it is normal behavior - a lot of lefties don't give a damn about the wellbeing of cops either. It's not the same thing but it IS the same mechanism. Fear and hate stops people from feeling empathy. It's human psychology and the cornerstone of all right-wing rhetoric.

I believe that by learning to undermine that kind of hateful rhetoric we can kill the soul of the anti-trans movement.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Mmmm, it's certainly not a monolithic group but I have a couple friends who are now hated by their parents for their queerness

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

rightoids seething

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's never too late to develop the valuable human skill of "empathy."

Although most of us learn it at an early age.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

is it still empathy if they only changed their stance on it when it affected their own family? IDK. but i guess it's a bigger step than my own parents took, so I'll give them that.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

seeing people shitposting in the comments here.

And while it's funny, i concur on that. Should we also not congratulate them for being able to grow and change?

These isn't exactly a leopards situation. This would be more of a leopards situation if they did nothing but complain about republicans being shitty, which they havent done.

personally, i think these two people are rather nice individuals. I suspect they make for some ballin grandparents as well.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I get it, I just get so pissed people only doing the right thing after if affects THEM. The GQP has been bashing gay and queer folks for decades! But, it's only after their child is targeted that they see the light.

They are better than those who are still in the GOP, and I'm happy they left, but it still leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

I feel like so much of it comes from really not doing the work to understand. It doesn't help that With trans issues people get flat out lied to and because there's nobody on hand to say reality check stuff like : "What the fuck do you mean 'The uptick of trans men is causing a wave of hysterectomies in a mass sterilization plot' ... one of the largest reason for temporary detransition is for pregnancies. Also STOP TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE BREEDING STOCK. " You get a rolling problem where the disinformation is layers deep and they only trust the sources who are financially rewarded for saying the bullshit- because they believe so hard that everything is a conspiracy and have this backwards perception that if only a tiny handful of people in a field are saying something that contradicts a varitable mountain of concensus then that thing is automatically somehow more believable...

I feel like having someone in your family who opens your eyes to the realities because of the immediate demonstratable contradictions of observed reality makes sense. These people caught in transphobialand have by and large been duped. They were ignorant and a bunch of people took advantage of that for financial and political gain. While I can see how not being immediately empathetic isn't great I dunno if I am as mad when observing from the angle of these people just being kind of dumb enough to be played.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 3 months ago

I get it, I just get so pissed people only doing the right thing after if affects THEM. The GQP has been bashing gay and queer folks for decades! But, it’s only after their child is targeted that they see the light.

it's the most trivial way to change peoples opinion though, so it should make sense. How do you stop racism? You get white people to talk to black people. How do you stop homophobia? Get gay people talking to straight people. This is like 90% of social cohesion.

I think you're focusing a little too much on the sour taste no longer in your mouth, and not the sweet one that is currently there. I would venture to bet that if you talked to these people personally, and got to know them, you would probably really enjoy that interaction and have very little malice towards them after the fact.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago (2 children)

They were perfectly willing to support and spread the hate right up until it personally affected them.

Good for them for changing when it did personally affect them, we have seen Republicans literally dying (covid) instead of learning from their experiences, but it is a very low bar to set for being "nice people".

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They were perfectly willing to support and spread the hate right up until it personally affected them.

Hate to break it to you. But that's not a republican trait. That's a human trait.

It's why you'll sooner donate to support the hospital stay of a person in your hometown than you would to a earthquake in zimbabwe. It's the reason we don't sit in a corner catatonic with grief at every little thing that happens in the world. Proximity bias is necessary. While it's not meant to replace empathy, pretending that these people are somehow shittier than every other human in nature just perpetuates a hate cycle that keeps us where we're at.

They didn't believe in Trans people. Than their grandkid came out and they changed their mind. But it's disingenuous to say 'Oh...now that it affects them.'

What's more likely is, being actually personally exposed to something forces you to re-contextualize your beliefs. That's not a bad thing and it's not to be derided.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It’s why you’ll sooner donate to support the hospital stay of a person in your hometown than you would to a earthquake in zimbabwe.

This, right here? Is making an assumption that doesn't necessarily hold true. I've made donations to DOZENS of world-wide charities and never once even thought of donating to a person in my hometown. It's not because I'm callous... it's because my hometown has a system in place to help people with medical needs.

It's not about helping who you know or have a personal connection to... it's about helping people who NEED the help. It's one of the reasons I find this "pay it forward" crap at restaurants so egregious. You know who doesn't need their coffee paid for? The person who's already in line to buy a coffee at Starbucks. If they couldn't afford that coffee they wouldn't be there. If you're itching to spend money on someone else, put it in the tip jar.

So yes, it's completely fair to judge people for this. If you are completely unable to conceptualize people's needs or suffering until it's shoved in your face in a way you can't avoid, that's not human nature - that's a character flaw.

This change of heart is laudable, but do they still carry the other abhorrent views of the GOP in their hearts? Do they want the wall and deadly force on immigrants until one of their grandchildren marries an immigrant? How many personal connections does it take to finally become a good person?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

i mean, isn't that like, the only way that it goes. You either lock in, be a dick, and die a dick. Or you fucking change your mind, because you aren't close minded.

Sure it would be optimal if they were there from the beginning, but like, it seems a little too harsh to not retroactively give them a pardon in this case.

but it is a very low bar to set for being “nice people”.

idk, i feel like it should be the normally accepted bar, otherwise there is literally no such thing as dissenting opinions. But that might just be me.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Who let the leopards in here?

[–] [email protected] 37 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Warning, the below is not uplifting @ all. Avoid if you don't wanna see it.

spoiler

Then there's my parents who disowned my younger brother after he came out as male.... They kicked him out of the house and now he's broke and alone trying to scrape by in the world. I'm one of two family members that supports him out of a previously huge family network. I tried to warn him that this would happen but he was convinced that everyone would do a 180 on their deep-rooted political beliefs.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

Yeah I’ve been disowned for 9 years. I’m doing well, and I’m definitely the anomaly (most disowning in my experience is like 2-3) but it’s important to remember that not everyone chooses loved ones over bigotry

[–] [email protected] 87 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Ah, classic conservative "Its okay until it affects us, and now that it affects us its the most horrible thing in the world!"

[–] [email protected] -3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

thats.....a classic human thing. so you must be saying anyone who isnt conservative isnt human. wow.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

poor idiot think they got me in a gotcha, when all they are doing is revealing that they don't give a fuck about horrible shit until it happens to them.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

straight to insults. classic hidden conservative tactic. thanks for calling me not only non human but also an idiot. this website saddens me sometimes. but not that much because i dont really care

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Saddens me that people like you exist in society, coldly and sociopathicly indifferent to, if not actively complicit in, the suffering of their fellow humans until it personally affects you, and that you think its not only completely normal, but base human conduct.

but why concern yourself with others when you can project at others and clutch pearls.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

oh sorry, i did not know i was speaking to the paragon of humanity. the one who has never sinned. the pure soul. you are perfection in human form 🤯🤯🤯🤯 keep up the great work 🫡 i salute your service to humanity

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)

whatever you say, sociopath.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago

geez i apologize and say all those nice things about you and this is how im treated in return. sad.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Classic conservative (and especially with "Christian" added onto that) = Severe lack of empathy

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

severe lack of empathy..for others

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Empathy is inherently "for others".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I think by "others" they just meant outside of their immediate in-group.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Perspective is a bitch.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago

I'll give the couple in the article this, I know many of the it's okay until it affects us types and none of them changed their voting habits

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Attacking trans people will eventually give way to something else, as it has before. When push comes to shove, family normally overrides politics. The more things they attack, the more chance it has of hitting somebody they care about.

Racism will always work though, because no middle class white kid ever came home and said "Mom. Dad. There's no easy way to say this... I'm black."

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

Dating a black guy/gal can sometimes prompt some introspection. Not as often as I'd like, but sometimes.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

There must always be an "other" for conservatism to work, because they need that other to hate, and to feel superior to, so they don't notice/give care to how much their own policies and the ones they support are destroying their own livelihoods.

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