this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago

I remember this MTV commercial/bumper thing which had two punks sitting on a curb. The guy says, "Nobody likes me." The girl says, "I like you Oliver." He looks at her and says, "Nobody good likes me." This reminds me of that.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

In before one person replies, "nothing ever happens 🙄 obviously real," and another person replies, "it's just a skit 🙄 nobody thinks it's real"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You must be fun at parties. Who hurt you?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Oh you sweet summer child

[–] [email protected] 107 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Sounds trashy. Better off with a girl that’s not rotten to the core

[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You start crying with her and say: not even the ugly girls like me.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

"Your mom's check better not bounce!!"

[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"oh you're WELL within my league"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

"I'm just a raccoon, out here dumpster-diving"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 94 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"The worst that can happen is she says no" 💀

[–] [email protected] 62 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Are you kidding? That's a good end. Big ol' red flag right off the bat.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

I agree but holy shit what a devastating thing to say

[–] [email protected] 62 points 3 months ago (2 children)

She is way uglier than that, but on the inside.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What's the ugliest part of your body? What's the ugliest part of your body? Some say your nose Some say your toes But I think it's your mind, your mind I think it's your mind, woo, woo

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

I think it's my scrote if I'm being perfectly honest, they just look weird in general

[–] [email protected] 176 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

I think I would apologize and then say that I was just trying to be nice by giving her a chance.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

Id just look with disgust and tell her straight up that nobody wants her not because of her look but because apparently she has an absolute trash personality.

[–] [email protected] 80 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"I thought you might make up for it with your personality, looks like I was wrong"

[–] [email protected] 155 points 3 months ago (1 children)

that's the kind of comeback I'd think of after stewing on the rejection for a week

[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Tbf, it took me several (rapid) iterations of the idea before my brain settled on a statement of maximum destruction. The reality is that I'd probably laugh and tell her to go fuck herself or just get confused and inform her that I wasn't intending it to be a date and I'm really not attracted to her in that way; I just thought she might be a cool friend to have (if I'm talking to someone then there's a decent chance we're either friends or will be friends in the near future). I imagine both would probably damage her ego as well, but they'd be no where as devastating as my original comment.

In that vein, after I posted my original comment my brain offered me a slightly better one:

[Start with a pause at the beginning because it creates the illusion that her response was unexpected] "...oh, sorry, everyone said I should give you a chance; I just wanted to be nice. I'm really, really sorry. I know you're a very sweet girl and you'll find the right person who can see you for your strengths."

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago

Oof, the old one-two punch