this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2024
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I remember this MTV commercial/bumper thing which had two punks sitting on a curb. The guy says, "Nobody likes me." The girl says, "I like you Oliver." He looks at her and says, "Nobody good likes me." This reminds me of that.
c/thathappened material
In before one person replies, "nothing ever happens 🙄 obviously real," and another person replies, "it's just a skit 🙄 nobody thinks it's real"
You must be fun at parties. Who hurt you?
Oh you sweet summer child
Sounds trashy. Better off with a girl that’s not rotten to the core
You start crying with her and say: not even the ugly girls like me.
"Your mom's check better not bounce!!"
"oh you're WELL within my league"
"I'm just a raccoon, out here dumpster-diving"
Brutal
"The worst that can happen is she says no" 💀
Are you kidding? That's a good end. Big ol' red flag right off the bat.
I agree but holy shit what a devastating thing to say
She is way uglier than that, but on the inside.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone.
What's the ugliest part of your body? What's the ugliest part of your body? Some say your nose Some say your toes But I think it's your mind, your mind I think it's your mind, woo, woo
I think it's my scrote if I'm being perfectly honest, they just look weird in general
I think I would apologize and then say that I was just trying to be nice by giving her a chance.
Id just look with disgust and tell her straight up that nobody wants her not because of her look but because apparently she has an absolute trash personality.
"I thought you might make up for it with your personality, looks like I was wrong"
that's the kind of comeback I'd think of after stewing on the rejection for a week
Tbf, it took me several (rapid) iterations of the idea before my brain settled on a statement of maximum destruction. The reality is that I'd probably laugh and tell her to go fuck herself or just get confused and inform her that I wasn't intending it to be a date and I'm really not attracted to her in that way; I just thought she might be a cool friend to have (if I'm talking to someone then there's a decent chance we're either friends or will be friends in the near future). I imagine both would probably damage her ego as well, but they'd be no where as devastating as my original comment.
In that vein, after I posted my original comment my brain offered me a slightly better one:
[Start with a pause at the beginning because it creates the illusion that her response was unexpected] "...oh, sorry, everyone said I should give you a chance; I just wanted to be nice. I'm really, really sorry. I know you're a very sweet girl and you'll find the right person who can see you for your strengths."
Oof, the old one-two punch