Asklemmy

My father once gave a guy a bill (currency) that surprised me and I asked if the drugs / alcohol possibility bothered him. He told me that if the guy humbles himself so much as to ask then he clearly needs it and that if he needs a bottle to get through the night then who was my dad to judge. It had a pretty profound effect on me.

Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t afford to donate. I’ve gone dumpster diving for food and picked fruit from trees and bushes under cover of night. I couldn’t donate a penny in those times because I was counting cents to buy small bits of food. Sometimes you just can’t take on more responsibility.

Now that I have a lot of comfort, I try to give as much as I reasonably think I can because I believe that if I’m able then I should. For instance, I will never turn down a request to buy someone a meal and I hand out cash in larger denominations than I think people expect depending on the circumstances I observe. But I still don’t give money to just anyone. If someone seems sleazy or like they’re trying to con me (it’s subjective), I’ll decline. And again, I don’t feel bad about it when intuition tells me that I should decline because I genuinely want good things for people and I know that about myself; in other words, I trust myself not to be a dick.

One other item: I once bought a woman a sandwich even though she kinda had an entitlement attitude. I got asked for money by a guy a block up the street and declined. He was rude to me as a result. I yelled fuck you at him because what he said to me deserved it. He had no way of knowing that I’d just given $20 to a stranger, but that didn’t make it acceptable for him to say what he said and I feel no regret about giving him a piece of my mind in response.

That you’re thinking about enough to ask strangers on the internet suggests that you have a good moral compass. Just try to pass along some help to others when you’re better situated in the future. It’ll be fine.

So I work full time with homeless people who deal with mental illness and substance use issues.

If you are struggling with surviving yourself, you can only do what you can do. This world is fucked up and you shouldn't be struggling, and those people on the street shouldn't be in that position either, and it always seems like the burden to assist the poorest in our society is put on to other poor people, because we can actually understand what it's like at least a little.

There may be times when you can only spare some change, other times maybe 5 or 10 dollars. Other times, nothing at all. If you have the ability at all, even the smallest amount can be helpful even if you don't think it will be. But, if you feel hesitant, don't beat yourself up for it. You thinking of giving ANYTHING AT ALL means you're doing more than most people would.

Also, I think it's important to try to let go of the moralistic thinking when it comes to people using the money for alcohol or drugs. People end up using drugs because of mental illness, people gave told me that at least when using they feel like they HAVE a reason why theyre hearing voices and seeing shit and its in their control.Because they lost their job due to becoming disabled and doctors won't prescribe painkillers so they have to find something to numb the pain on the street. They were a foster kid who got kicked out with nothing, no family or friends and we're physically and mentally abused for years so using drugs is the only way they know how to cope.

Another very real story I heard recently as to why someone drowned themselves in liquor for 15 years is because his nephew was playing hide and seek and hid under a pile of clothes in a closet. A fire started in the house; he was searching everywhere for the kid, and was digging and digging but couldn't pull him out before the firemen forced him to leave. So he had to stand there and watch as his nephew burned alive because the firemen would not go back in to get him. You don't know someone's story and why they got to where they are. If you don't want your money going to drugs or alcohol, you can make the choice to not give anyone money on the off chance that they happen to have a substance use issue, but remember they are people too with a lot of trauma.

I'm not sure how someone could live in a big city without learning to just walk past beggars without making eye contact. I know I sound like a terrible person when I say that explicitly, but it's what almost everyone actually does. Most other people just don't want to admit it (to others, and maybe to themselves).

Vote for politicians who support UBI.

I give. But also I talk, I listen, I don’t toss a coin and ignore.

I genuinely take the time to talk to someone. If they seem nice, safe, and don’t strike me as being “impulsively dangerous”, I might invite them to share a meal with me, or to a café.

Obviously I can’t do this for everyone, but when I’m low on money like you, I might literally just invite someone to my home and make them a piece of toast, ask them what their day to day is like, if it sounds like they need an old blanket, give them one if I’ve got a spare.

Give what you can afford. That varies from person to person, and timeframe, but if you truly have nothing to give, then you have nothing to give without impacting your own existance. Plus if you're a person living off of people's kindness and get mad when people have nothing, then they aren't the problem