this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Imagine calling your kid KnockoutJS.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Yk, you can make fun of old programming languages but the average job offer with one of them is.

Needs to know fortran/cobol

Pay: 8000€/month + benefits and unlimited sick days

Compared to the average web dev job offer:

Needs to know react, redux, angular, PHP (for managing legacy codebases) with 5+ years of experience, needs to be affluent in at least 3 languages and must have a master's degree in computer science.

Pay: 1500€/month

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

That's only because the former already implies much of the latter, so they don't need to repeat it

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Well in Poland we have so many girls named "Julia", so you know...

[–] [email protected] 138 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Little Fortran walks into the living room.

"Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I'm scared you'll be mad at me"

"We'll still love you no matter what honey."

"OK, I've been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I'm a frontend developer"

"WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don't come out until you've written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff"

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Honestly, fair, even if his name wasn't fortran.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I mean, Fortran isn't even dead. It was updated last year. Weird but it's still a used language.

https://wg5-fortran.org/f2023.html

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

All the best linalg libraries are in FORTRAN.

Pretty sure numpy hooks into them. I don't know anyone who uses computers for serious work that doesn't use FORTRAN. It's the best.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yep, and Matlab too I think

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

MATLAB is just scipy for people that wear ties.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

And it is still living in weather forecasting models used by many weather institutes.

Source: Work for a weather institute.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

We use those too! The weather forecasting models are really important for calculating prices in the German Energy market. My company is even paying people extra for learning Fortran to do these tasks. It's really weird to talk to 20-something y/o people who actively use Fortran.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

And a lot of science libraries.

Source: married to a physicist.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago

Maybe it’s time to go to the court house and change their name to Lua?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Ada is good name for girl child

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I knew a guy who worked with stuff at Nasa programmed in Ada and who named his daughter Ada :)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Was going to give my daughter the middle name Ada until my best friend for 20+ years pointed out Jenny Ate A Dick or if she was heavier food items Jenny is not my daughter's name but used for an example.

Tbh I still wanted to use it but my wife said no. I also lost the battle for Grace, and Marie. I gave up and let her pick the middle name in the delivery room all hopped up on hormones. I'm pretty sure she regrets the choice since we have never mentioned her middle name in 6 months.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

What about girl adult or woman child

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 month ago

Ada is a feminine name. The Ada language is named after Ada Lovelace.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_(programming_language)

[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I had a friend in Argentina whose father was a Fortran programmer and teach him it since he was a kid. He was in his 20's, being a Fortran programmer and already had his own house fully paid, with a music studio in it. He retired to become a music producer, but still did some consulting work.

Good luck little Fortran, hope you can learn and enjoy your work.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So are you saying Fortran Programming is a lucrative skill?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Looking up, in the US its have an average salary of 100k at year. Not sure how that compares with other programming languages. He worked for an oil company, so I guess he had an above average salary for that.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

parents are Mr and Mrs C. and C. Plusplus

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Neither of them are very sharp

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

and we dont talk about their half cousin Objective

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 month ago

This kid's full name is Fortran Sucksdontlearnit Johnson. His parents actually hated Fortran. Imagine the disappointment they're about to experience.

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