this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
940 points (98.8% liked)

Programmer Humor

32481 readers
314 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Imagine calling your kid KnockoutJS.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Yk, you can make fun of old programming languages but the average job offer with one of them is.

Needs to know fortran/cobol

Pay: 8000€/month + benefits and unlimited sick days

Compared to the average web dev job offer:

Needs to know react, redux, angular, PHP (for managing legacy codebases) with 5+ years of experience, needs to be affluent in at least 3 languages and must have a master's degree in computer science.

Pay: 1500€/month

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

That's only because the former already implies much of the latter, so they don't need to repeat it

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

Well in Poland we have so many girls named "Julia", so you know...

[–] [email protected] 140 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Little Fortran walks into the living room.

"Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I'm scared you'll be mad at me"

"We'll still love you no matter what honey."

"OK, I've been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I'm a frontend developer"

"WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don't come out until you've written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

Honestly, fair, even if his name wasn't fortran.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I mean, Fortran isn't even dead. It was updated last year. Weird but it's still a used language.

https://wg5-fortran.org/f2023.html

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

All the best linalg libraries are in FORTRAN.

Pretty sure numpy hooks into them. I don't know anyone who uses computers for serious work that doesn't use FORTRAN. It's the best.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yep, and Matlab too I think

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

MATLAB is just scipy for people that wear ties.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (2 children)

And it is still living in weather forecasting models used by many weather institutes.

Source: Work for a weather institute.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

We use those too! The weather forecasting models are really important for calculating prices in the German Energy market. My company is even paying people extra for learning Fortran to do these tasks. It's really weird to talk to 20-something y/o people who actively use Fortran.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

And a lot of science libraries.

Source: married to a physicist.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago

Maybe it’s time to go to the court house and change their name to Lua?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Ada is good name for girl child

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I knew a guy who worked with stuff at Nasa programmed in Ada and who named his daughter Ada :)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Was going to give my daughter the middle name Ada until my best friend for 20+ years pointed out Jenny Ate A Dick or if she was heavier food items Jenny is not my daughter's name but used for an example.

Tbh I still wanted to use it but my wife said no. I also lost the battle for Grace, and Marie. I gave up and let her pick the middle name in the delivery room all hopped up on hormones. I'm pretty sure she regrets the choice since we have never mentioned her middle name in 6 months.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

What about girl adult or woman child

[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 months ago

Ada is a feminine name. The Ada language is named after Ada Lovelace.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_(programming_language)

[–] [email protected] 79 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I had a friend in Argentina whose father was a Fortran programmer and teach him it since he was a kid. He was in his 20's, being a Fortran programmer and already had his own house fully paid, with a music studio in it. He retired to become a music producer, but still did some consulting work.

Good luck little Fortran, hope you can learn and enjoy your work.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

So are you saying Fortran Programming is a lucrative skill?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Looking up, in the US its have an average salary of 100k at year. Not sure how that compares with other programming languages. He worked for an oil company, so I guess he had an above average salary for that.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 months ago (1 children)

parents are Mr and Mrs C. and C. Plusplus

[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Neither of them are very sharp

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

and we dont talk about their half cousin Objective

[–] [email protected] 56 points 4 months ago

This kid's full name is Fortran Sucksdontlearnit Johnson. His parents actually hated Fortran. Imagine the disappointment they're about to experience.

load more comments
view more: next ›