Asklemmy

Any, really. As long as I can use my noodle.

An impasta because I'm a human bean.

I wish to be spaghetti but at the moment am feeling more like penne.

Tri-color Rotini, since my color would be the first thing people noticed around all the other pasta.

a sad lasagne: used in pretty much a single dish; it is the least enjoyable part of the said dish; it can very easily be substituted for, don't know, eggplants

Macaroni, but only with cheese.

This is so that I can become ouroboros and infinitely devour myself

The screwed one

I'd want to be a spaghetti but I'd probably be a penne.

A lasagna newdle https://youtu.be/UoRXQDPkDcs?feature=shared

Spaghetti, because Im lanky, and annoying to handle when Im cooked

Copypasta, nothing more I want to be than a long overused block of text that clogs up threads all over the net.

I am also partial to shell pasta.

I would be mushroom bowtie farfalle (which I enjoy often) because I'm always just out of reach, even to myself.

I will block out the sun with my lasagne body! All will fear me! All will obey me!

Mafaldine because I look cute with little ruffles and there's nothing remotely straight about me

Fusilli, because I'm screwed

Orichiette. Cause they're like little bowls of sauce on their own. Each one of them a tiny flavour universe.

I'd love to say campanelle, because I'm fun and stuff.

I'm a gnocchi, because I'm potato.

Linguine. You're expecting some strong, has-it-together fettuccine, but instead I'm a plateful that can barely hold it together and is trying to play pretend at being one of the better pastas.

Shells. Because I'm less likely to get eaten.

Seriously though. Fuck shell pasta where they all stick together

Fusilli, I'm cork-y like that and rather silly.

Homemade ricotta gnocchi, because I'm rare and not from around here.

Orzo. I always tried to be like someone I'm not. Now I'm neither rice nor pasta.

Bow tie pasta/Farfalle cuz I'm goofy

(I used to love eating those raw when I was little, how my teeth weren't affected is something for an episode of Unsolved Mysteries.)

Macaroni because I have an unhealthy obsession with cheese.

Macaroni because I'm hollow inside, and unlike penne, have no point

Lasagne - I got layers.

Wagon Wheel. Not because it's a good pasta. But because it's most likely to survive in the back of a pantry. Little to no sauce retention. Wagon wheel, for survival.