"Transfeminine AMABs (people assigned male at birth) with testicles experience surges in testosterone in relation to attraction and desire, which can make them more dysphoric." -Biochemical dysphoria, The Gender Dysphoria Bible
this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
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Transfem
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If you’re still using your hand, something that might help a lot is getting a vibrating wand. I got a Doxxy wand a couple years after coming out and it’s been a lifesaver in terms of not feeling as much dysphoria masturbating.
As a cis male I can say that feeling guilt after mastrubation is a very common thing. I suffered from it and I know several friends who did as well. Some even having strong feelings of depression after.
It might not be related to coming out because it's a normal thing for males as well. For me it went away with age. A friend of mine unfortunately still suffers from it (even after sex).
It might be useful to talk about this with a psychologist or by trying to be more accepting of your body in it's current state. I'm not saying this is easy because it took several years for me to overcome some psychological problems but the hard work paid off in the end. It's something that requires an active effort every day.
I wish you the best of luck!