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Cats ate her face

My parents do this all the time. "Yeah, we just came back from the funeral, it was beautiful." So apparently my aunt died. "Oh yeah, we thought it wouldn't interest you".

At the same time, they call me to tell me "So, Henry had to go to the hospital, he's in a bad state. We though you'd want to know." So apparently someone from their neighborhood who I never met or heard of has some bad health.

Oh, everything's fine now, ...

I wish. Nope, nothing like my family.

... but two weeks ago she was murdered.

Nevermind, this checks out.

Mom didn't tell me she got married and was pregnant while I was in college. I talked to her almost daily then...

My sister, didn't visit for a few years then told family she was going to visit for Christmas, okay. She arrives with unexpected company, her boyfriend, she says. Family never heard about him. 1 month later she visits and goes, oh yeah, "I am expecting in 5 months". 2 months later she goes, oh yeah "I got married last week".

She doesn't understand why dad was so upset...

My Mother recently went on a trip. During fathers day I'm talking to my Grandma and she asks if I was told that my mom fell on the escalator and hurt her hip. Not bad, just sore. I say no and my grandma seems really surprised that I was not told this. Later that same day I'm talking to my mom and she asks if anyone told me that my grandma broke a rib last week. No, grandma never mentioned this! Apparently I can only get my family's health updates second hand.

I came home one weekend while in college and my mom's car was gone, but there was an unfamilure minivan. When I got inside, did the normal pleasantries, and I asked about the minivan, my mom dropped:

Oh, I hit some black ice on the way to work last week and spun and got t-boned. I woke up to the paramedics shaking me from behind. They had to some in through the hatchback because the car was laying on the driver's door. Anyway, we're waiting for insurance before we start looking for another car and they gave me a rental in the mean time.

I had talked to her on the phone in between the accident and my visit and she hadn't mentioned it. She broke 2 ribs and had a hairline fractured of her foot - the other driver had a mild concussion. So all-in-all it could have been infinitely worse, but still.