I didn't realize this was the onion for the longest time and I was pretty unfazed tbh
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
I am so owned. Good job! Too bad it's the onion.
Arrest them all.
DWI? DUI? What's the difference? The ~~drunks~~ alcohol enthusiasts over at Forbes magazine explain the difference…for those of you who don't have to cover one eye to focus.
Stay sick, scratch glass, turn blue, climb walls…but don't get caught!
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DUI is "driving under the influence" of alcohol and DWI is "driving while intoxicated". So DWI is less specific.
Actually the DUI carves a broader swath because you can be under the influence but not intoxicated.
What the fuck are you babbling about?
This how iowas governor tries to get the vp spot after going all in for DeSantis?
For staunch MAGA Republican and binge-drinker Justin Brently, getting another DUI in support of Tump was the most important day in his life. For serial drunk driver, killer of Kevin Ade, and small-time political bully Ian Smith, it was Tuesday.
You can eat one onion, as a treat.
JFC I was 100% ready to believe this.
Of course I totally believed this before checking where I am lol
Me too bruh, me too.
I expect this'll be in nottheonion within 3 days
Until then the onion is staying ahead of the curve (just)
Maybe they try to be cellmates with him.
A true patriot
A real patriot would get 34 felony charges
What a great initiative to whittle away the MAGAs.