I'm willing to bet that some techbro either already has, or will in the near future propose an Ai toilet that will do something exactly this.
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I'm pretty sure I answered this on Reddit once. Begged for it, assuming I have to use such a toilet and cannot just go back to a pit latrine (I've heard great things about tiger worms). Answering the other way would be cruel.
Can we then give it a tongue so I can be sure I'm clean?
Yes.
Neither. I want it to be honored to accept my waste and happy to serve.
"Well, it's a living!"
Would it lick me clean or would I still have to wipe myself?
See, this is why I hate "would you rather...?"
Why can't it just be content with the amount I feed it, why's it have to be starving to the degree that it begs?
It's not begging out of hunger, it's begging out of desire
feeeeed me seymour!
I would like it to criticize me for needing to do it, at all.
"Why do you always take so long in the bathroom?"
"I have to argue with the toilet about conservation of mass."
For, because I'm about consent.
I always think about opening up this guys head and pooping in it.
I would like it to be happy, so have it beg.
I can use all the encouragement I can get.
"Stop shitting on your hand and throw it out the window! Use me instead!"
if you can do something in your every day life to make someone happy, who cares if itβs weird? live life; weβre all weird; just make people happy and be happy in return
This is the best answer
I don't think it matters. After a few weeks it would just be some annoying background noise you ignore anyway.
No? I would move.
"Just pee? sigh"
I would poop in a different toilet
But then how do you poop if no one is begging? Uhh, asking for a friend.