this post was submitted on 26 May 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

Right now, here’s the rules:

  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
  3. No AI posts whatsoever, and any images that were altered (Ex: Photoshop, Gimp) need to be tagged.

How to tag: To tag your posts, please prepend or append the tag name inside square brackets. For example,[OC] Foo bar baz or foo bar baz [Meta] would be acceptable. Multiple tags will require separate pairs of brackets, like so: [Edited][OC] foo bar baz

Here are the current tags:

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(BTW, I’m looking for someone to help mod here! I myself would not be enough if this community goes beyond a few posts a day.)

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How am I supposed to enjoy processed corpse if it isn't phallic???

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Get both and passively aggressively serve it to the bigest toxic macho around

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Lil smokies better bring your A game

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They've come full circle.

We're back to meatballs

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I think we're calling them hot balls this time.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

How many kids choked on these things? They seem perfect for blocking airways

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Probably none. Have never heard of it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

Fortunately most kids don't fit into airways unless we're talking about a baleen whale.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago (3 children)

That kid looks like Legally Distinct Dennis the Menace. David the Annoyance, perhaps.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

American Dennis the Menace as well.

Does he enjoy some weird cultural osmosis in Scandinavia? Like how Donald Duck comics are a big thing?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Terence the Annoyance

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

We do call them "Denniskorvar" (Dennis sausages) actually!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Could 100% see that as a nice lil' appetizer. Cook 'em up in your preferred way, toothpick in each, serve with ketchup, mustard, or be extra with beer cheese fondue.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Me: Mom, let's get Kulkorv!

Mom: No, we already have Kulkorv at home

Kulkorv at home: Just some fucking regular hotdogs chopped into bite-sized pieces

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Batter and fry them! Corndog spheres!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Let this guy cook (figuratively and literally)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Sadly I think it was a bad idea. I'm only saying that because they've been gone from shelves for almost 15 years as far as I can tell.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Accidentally ended up with two packs of denniskorv in the fridge and I really wish they too would have disappeared 15 years ago. Not even the 5 year old who would live off of hot dogs if we let him will touch it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Maybe they're secretly just that popular

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The name also has a pun in it. "Kulkorv", means "ball-sausage", but "kul korv" would mean "funny sausage".

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

"kulkorv" without a space would be "fun-sausage" which could be a penis.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Below is a picture of the original Swedish "Hot dogs". Sausages which themselves are a crime. Absolute cultural staple. Sadly these hot dog balls were a thing only for a short while.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Hot dog balls, or hot dog balls? Much like the Oxford comma, emphasis can make a difference! Next lesson, we’ll talk about hyphenation!