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I know exactly what this feels like.
I either get to enjoy eating and life in general, but feel like my body isn't big and muscular enough to feel like a confident man or work out all the time but stop eating what makes me happy and in general not enjoy meals.
Media constantly espouses body positivity for women, but men are either ripped or obese. There's no normal, and it makes men feel like they're not good enough.
Body positivity has been ignoring men for way too long.
Do they even lift, bro?
But seriously these guys need to just pay attention to women if that's what they want the muscles about. Women are not out there just drooling over muscles all the time, they mostly want a generally fit body, maybe abs and stuff. Big muscly bodybuilders are probably going to attract more gays than women.
[off topic?]
I was watching 'The Getaway' with Steve McQueen a few weeks ago. At the time the movie was made, Steve was one of Hollywood's top action heroes. When he took his shirt off I thought how skinny he looked. I know that the Marvel heroes work out for months to get the 'superhero' body, but I still made the comparison.
Another story I heard. A friend of mine wanted to buy his nephew the same Luke Skywalker action figure he'd played with as a child. The original toy looked like a skinny farm boy, and the new one had Luke looking like a body builder.
The x men series is a clear example. Look at Hugh Jackman Wolverine in the original movie compared to the newer ones. In the original he was lean, and in shape but not super muscular or anything. By the Wolverine he's a body building monster
Look at some old movies. Buster Crabbe [Flash Gordon] and Johnny Weissmuller [Tarzan] were both Olympic athletes. Back in the day, they were the peak of manly developement; today they'd be henchmen at best.