I wish my dad would reach out and talk with someone about issues. My sister died last year and he decided he didn't want to talk to his good friend about it because his friend still has two daughters and won't know what it is like.

He doesn't have anyone to talk to except for me and my mom, he won't do therapy to get through his guilt of surviving cancer while she didn't survive it which if he went to therapy he would realize is ridiculous to have because they were different cancers.

My mom at least is going through therapy which is helping her get through the loss.

I remember something similar to this when my mom died 15 years ago. Lots of aunt's and friends reaching out to my sister to support her, traveling across the country to visit. I don't think I ever even got a note.

But I do have the thing where I probably wouldn't have cared either, if not for watching the support my sister got, it never would have occurred to me someone could do those things. And I know those people aren't my actual friends, so I really had zero expectations from them. I think it was more the insult on top of injury that bothered me. "Not only do we not care, but we're going to show you what we would be doing if we did care."

I never took this as a boy/girl thing though. I never fit in in life, still to this day. Just sorta expected.

I used to be all feminism when I was younger. Now I have two kids, I realized man do a sht ton of things without being recognized. It's always that "you are the man, you are supposed to do it" kind of thing. But when it's the other way around like when I asked the ladies what about their "women duties", it's all excuse and argument. It can suck balls being a responsible man.

Ah, fuck it. We’re supposed to suffer in silence. We’re men. Man up, guys! Grit your teeth and bear it! (/s)

No one checks on me and that’s fine. I don’t really need people to check on me like I’m fragile. I fight my own battles; always have, always will. But for those who do need the more frequent check-ins, they should absolutely have them and should be able to ask for them without fear of ridicule or mockery.

The fact that, statistically speaking, no one cares about lonely folk is pretty discouraging, but you can’t force people to care. And even if you could, it wouldn’t be worthwhile or heartfelt. I sure as hell don’t want people to feel like they have to give a shit.

Stay strong, gents. It’s not weak to ask for help if you need it, even from internet strangers.

Friends?

"Men are victims of the patriarchy too" is an incredibly powerful message that I wish more men understood.

People always seem shocked when I'm offended by terms like "I hate men".

Like it's somehow wrong of me to be offended by blatant misandry because I should just "know what they mean". I'm one of "the good ones, they don't mean me when they say it". Horseshit.