MURDEEER
this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
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What the fuck is this single-use knife
It's the kind of knife you buy for your first apartment
With forensics being as good as they are now, they'll probably figure out the knife you used the first time is the same knife you used the second time.
You really can't have a favourite knife anymore. Gotta dispose of it right away or they'll work out the pattern without needing to figure out the riddles you left behind at the scene. It's cheating really, but the only thing you can do to prevent it is by taking the "single-use knife" approach.
Well, regardless, someone's getting hurt. Have you tried cutting two whole apples, one on top of the other? It's non-trivial! They aren't exactly stable and the rogue's gonna try to swipe one or both as soon as you move your own fingers out of the way. May as well get it over with and stab the rogue to start.
My chaotic neutral undead warlock has the solution.
Cut two 1/6s
Align the two apples so they're off center to one another. One has 2/3 on the outside to the left, 1/3 to the right, the other 2/3 to the outside to the right, 1/3 to the left.
Bird's eye view, the single line cutting both apples will leave us with the left 2/3 of the first apple and the right 2/3 of the second, and a third portions made of 2 thirds, or another 2/3 of an apple.
One cut, 2 apples, 3 equal portions.
No need to align them like that. Just place them one behind the other and cut off one third on the side (with a single stroke).
But which one is lawful good and which one is chaotic evil?
You could simply murder one of the players
In a single stroke? With 1d4 damage?
If you have a wizard in your party, I guess.
Is that not the joke? Am I a psycho now?
Not alone, I assumed that was the joke here.
You know, that does sound easier than aligning some janky-ass shaped apples just right.
They don’t have to be aligned off center from each other, just as long as you cut a third off of each in one stroke.
Alternatively, one person just stabs one of the others, and the two survivors each get a whole apple.
I thought about this at first but then two people get the core as part of their portion and one doesn't :(
Lay them on the side and cut through them horizontally, everyone gets core
Simple solution to that is the cores are a problem for the two people that aren't in possession of the knife.
Visualisation.
So from what I see here, if I slam the knife down on both other people, I get 2 apples?
Those are some weird looking titties
Get yo ass to Mars
Easier:
(..|.)
(..|.)
Dumb question, how do you make two apples off center from each other?
You're right that they're off-center from a first "symmetry line" you have to draw.
So: you place them on your cutting board. Trace an imaginary vertical bird's eye view that passes by the center of both. Now based on that imaginary line, move both apples so they're offset 2/3-1/3 from that line in each direction.
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