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Don't forget your headlight fluid!

I was crossing the street with my mom once and the crosswalk beeped indicating it was safe to cross. She asked, "Why does it beep like that?" I said, "It's for the deaf people." We crossed and then she started laughing. She said, "You asshole.".

On a drive when I was ten, I asked my dad why the tall, skeletal towers had blinking lights. He said so planes wouldn’t crash into them. So I asked what the towers were for, and he said to hold up the lights.

That fucked with me for like ten more years.

Shopkeeper should glue a fake label to a can and actually sell it to the kid. Get both the kid and the dad lol