Double dribble

"Do not mock me, lest I unleash the evil eye of orbular illusion."

Fun fact: soccer has no official rule against manipulating the ball with your eye lasers

pew pew

Sports retard only see sports.

How can we trust our eyes if what they see isn't real?

When you set your ipd to negative integers

Everyone had to start calling it soccer once the sport transitioned to telekinesis

Why fast objects look blurry.

Eye Sockerts

Amblyopia in corneal implants presents greater target acquisition error variance in class 3-A cyberized weapon systems

One is always lower than the other.

Jigsaw's latest trap. Sing the national anthem of the team you most hate to disarm.

What happened to me right before my retina detached

Keep your eye on the ball by affixing the ball to spaghetti and then affixing the spaghetti to your eyes. You may use different colored spaghetti if you so choose.

When you see ball, ball already somewhere else. Find real ball by looking faster.

DARPA unveils new laser eye tech that destroys soccer balls in seconds!

Multi-target laser guided auto-lock eye upgrade for sports now available at your local augmentation center. Ads included!

How to tell if she spiked your drink.

Identifying sports related head injuries.

The competitive advantage of ketamine: Is it the ultimate performance enhancing drug and how publicly funded research grants are often wasteful.

Visualizing the field: How Brenden Aaronson understands playing in the league.

"...with our new eye lasers, you too can rid yourself of soccerballs and other small dog toys."

Blur balls is not a real, medical condition.