this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 53 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Here's your pile of money:

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Or a jetpack with no fuel.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)

He only said wish once and had everything in one sentence. Would that only count as one wish?

If no, what if he said "I wish I owned a shipping container, and all of its contence, which include a pile of money, a jetpack, and blah blah". Where's the line?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Wish granted. Your shipping container is currently in a junkyard somewhere in southeastern Peru. Not telling you where exactly or in which junkyard but I will let you know it is near the bottom of the pile and the door is thoroughly blocked off. It's also pretty well hidden behind a bunch of other crap, and you won't be able to see it unless you're looking for it, which is a problem since I'm also not telling you what color it is. Also, if you do find it, the Peruvian government are more than likely going to want an export tax on anything you bring home. But believe me, it is there, and you own it. I will also not help you convince the owner of the junkyard of either of those two facts.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Man I wish I never even found this stupid lamp.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

1 wish = 1 subatomic particle.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I wish for more genies. I wish that I could wish for more wishes. I wish for the ability to grant my own wishes. I wish that every wish I've ever made/will make comes true. I wish for the genie to lose the ability to count.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Just use a lot of "ands" in the first wish. I wish for a pile of money and a jetpack and a lava lamp. Now I still have two wishes left

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Be embarrassed by something: God, I wish I was de... fuck

[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Historically genie (Jinn) wishes are always Monkey Paws, you just got shitted on six ways from Sunday, not least of which is being turned into a djinn.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Alithea Binnie : There's no story about wishing that is not a cautionary tale. None end happily. Not even the ones that are supposed to be jokes.

Genie : But you and I are the authors of this story, and we can avoid all traps.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 9 months ago

Devil's advocate here. The whole point of having the wish-giver be a sentient being is to filter bullshit loopholes like that. I like the idea of a highly moderate genie that takes his job seriously

[–] [email protected] 94 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Alright, I guess I'm gonna have to be the one to ask: What is actually going on with the blue homie's nips in this one?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

You mean the hoodie strings...?

[–] [email protected] 73 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The nips are fine. It's the moobs that stick out, literally.

I don't understand how you made that error, it's like seeing someone with bulging eyes and saying "what's wrong with his pupils".

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

Ah, classic anatomy error. Must brush up on my Latin.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

Wow, that takedown. RIP in peace.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

What about hisOHMYGAWD!!!

[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago

The absolute teetees on dat boi

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (3 children)

It took me far too long to get this one - like why would an all-powerful genie be vulnerable to such a simple science trick? But probably what made the genie be that powerful was the voice of Robin Williams or Will Smith, and all other genies are inferior:-P.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Damn, I must be under-caffeinated. I've been sitting here trying to figure out why the dude would have neuralized himself.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Life is pain, sometimes. Maybe he remembers what happened on Reddit too vividly but would rather forget.:-)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

or Will Smith

*triggered*

No offense, but Robin Williams stands alone on that pedestal. (Please don't slap me)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

It's a voice acting job - he's in another, separate room, so we should be safe. Yeah he had a great career, then that, and that'll be all that we remember for a long time if not forever.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Because he knew that the guy did not wish for sunglasses that immunes them. So the guy wishing has no idea he had wished

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

"Whoa cool, I just found a jetpack, a pile of money, a neuralyzer, and a genie."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

There are so many ways this could go:-).