The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
hilarious. kinda feels like it would work.
This article title could legitimately make me "eat the onion" if I hadnt noticed the thread name its that good
Imagine having to watch an ad before reloading
To reload please drink verification can
Please solve the captcha before firing your next shot
Or having to buy the ammo strictly through the tiktok shop
They joke, but it would likely work. Become a defense contractor and the US government will let you do anything
But just "making rifles" doesn't make you a defense contractor without a contract to supply America's "defenses" with arms. And if they're made outside the US they'll be subject to import laws and could be blocked that way like Russian guns.
And they really do mean anything. They're even allowed to assassinate potential whistleblowers.
With the sniper rifles you hear the tok before the tik.
Holosun moment
That headline slays like a lonely white guy in a grade school
Does the sound alternate for each round
I can see this happening...
Takes off safety
Annoying tiktok voice: "You won't believe what happens next!"
shoots someone by accident
"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no no no no no!"
"My Husband..."
I hate that I can say this out loud perfectly.
Ate the Onion for one whole second.