this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2024
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Autism

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submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Hi, I have been a lurker for a while here. I have never gotten well with people. Most of the time I overstep our boundaries or the person I am getting along with just ends up taking advantage of me. This has been a problem running in my family for atleast 3 generations and now, quite frankly, I am tired of it.

My issue is that differentiating between healthy and unhealthy relationships is just too hard and using "rules" to figure it out is just too ambiguious. For example, joking about a person can be either a bonding experience in friendship or just plain bullying. Telling where the line switches between the two is a bit too hard.

So, what I am saying is, can someone please give me some resources for how to interact with people. Not just pamphlets or articles but rather full on courses on how to talk, how to handle/read body language, what people mean by what they say, how to recognize when someone is taking advantage of you. Things that go in depth about this sort of stuff.

Everything related to relationships, society and speech. This can be courses, books, reasearch papers, someone's hobby project, wiki, etc. Articles that go in depth about it are fine as well. Thanks in advance.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago

Given that you would need an exceedingly extensive, labeled dataset to start working with actions/behaviours/body language directly, the only realistic way to start would be with a language model. (And while these are sometimes decent, they're absolutely terrible at other times (and there's generally no way to tell which time is which).)

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago

You can't apply computers to humans and expect good results. Period. Human made text is not easily parametrizable; much less someone's manner of speaking or bodily expressions.

And human relationships as a whole, where at least two beings fundamentally incomprehensible to the machine interact, within a larger societal context that is equally incomprehensible? Acting like you can fit it into a neat model is peak computer science hubris.

And, in the end, it would only reinforce the preexisting notions of what is "healthy" or how others are feeling. I'm not sure that it applies to autistics as well as it does to neurotypicals. And I'm not certain if it applies to them either.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I have had great(ish) success with psychology books to learn about what behaviors and facial expressions to look for. They are well documented and accurate (in my experiencel) combine that with the formula: words x 0 + facial expression + action x 3. And making myself aware of deposits and withdraw on the bank of my good will.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago (1 children)

words x 0 + facial expression + action x 3

Wouldn't "words x 0" result in 0 every single time? That would make the formula "facial expressions + action x 3".

Also, can you elaborate on how to use this formula and provide an example? It seems really interesting to me. I actually have a protocol that I use to assess other people's intentions, disposition, and engagement the relationship with me.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago

Yes, you're correct on the formula calculation. I keep "words x 0" to show that the variable has been accounted for. Sorta like significant digits.

The formula was developed because I regularly found myself in disadvantages relationships. I dont expect many if anybody will be able to relate much past this point...

I don't blame anyone but myself nor am I mad with any of these individuals as I'm simply mentally malformed (context below). This formula gave me the ability to determine when a relationship wasn't worth maintaining.

Mentally malformed context: I would take someone's statement as truth over my own observed reality. Example, Person: You promised me you'd do X Me: I have no memory of that. Person: Well you did. Me: I'm sorry I didn't get that done, what can I do to make it up to you. Person: X still has to get done, and you can do Y to make it up to me. Me: okay. Me to myself: I must be constantly missing time. I must be going crazy... Try to act normal so you don't get locked up.

Having access to a absolute (though arbitrary) number has given me the ability to make better decisions.

Also, I would be interested if you elaborated on the social protocol you mentioned.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago

I've heard some good things about GPT4ALL. It's basically chatgpt hosted locally. I would never trust openai with my private conversations with people but I think it would be fine to feed it to a local program.