this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025
410 points (95.8% liked)

Greentext

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1288 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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>Get BJ on prom night 
>Week later massive red spot on cock
>Herpes
>Fuck
>doctor say this shit is
uncurable
>No woman will want me
>Struggle with shame and depression
>Lose all interest in sex
>Go years without being with a woman
>Finally regain some self confidence
>Brainwave.exe
>Need woman who already has the disease
>Find old hooker on craigslist
>Looks pretty ragged on the blurred photo
>Has probably had a million diseased cocks in her
>Call her up
>Explain I have herpes
>Tell her I presume she has it too
>Silence
>Then she hangs up

I dont know where to go from here bros
(page 2) 27 comments
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[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago

HSV2 dating sites be lit though.

[–] [email protected] 82 points 3 days ago (13 children)

Literally ⅔ of all humanity has at least one type of HSV. It is not the end of the world.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 days ago (2 children)

And it's not infectious when it's asymptomatic.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago (16 children)

Where can I find more info on this? You've peaked my curiosity and I want to learn more about HSV and how it works.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

It works by making fucking ugly sore blisters on/around my mouth a couple times a year. they dry out and crust off after a week or so and i get on with my life.

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Huh, either I dont know I have it or I got lucky. Thats crazy. I imagine an STD test would pick up HSV-2 but I wonder if it also picks up the oral variant. Ive never actually noticed any symptoms on myself. This is actually crazy though I didnt know this, I feel like more people should. TIL lol

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago (2 children)

In my experience most standard STD panels will test for HSV-2 but not 1, usually you'd have to special request it

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

You can totally also be asymptomatic for your whole life and not know it. It is also useful to know that "oral herpes" doesn't exclusively affect your mouth, and "genital herpes" doesn't exclusively affect your genitals. Just more often. Both types can appear in both locations. The hypothetical person from the greentext would likely have contracted oral herpes. I'm not sure how that works with STD tests, though.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

Where does GT go? Outside, and stop being a pussy, making up bullshit on the internet.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 days ago

Fake: Anon getting a blowjob Gay: Anon pretending to have a disease as explanation of never touching a women

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Do you ask a woman before kissing here if she has any diseases?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

I ask to inspect her anus with a flashlight. Halogen preferred.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago

Also there are different Herpes strains.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Anon, who'd you get the BJ from? They can't give it to you again...

[–] [email protected] 84 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This is a common misconception and the leading cause of Turbo herpes outbreaks.

Stay safe kids

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 days ago (3 children)

it's the same with turbo aids and turbo autism

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago

Source? The same cock they sucked the first time, obviously

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago

Um, it happened to a friend of mine

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[–] [email protected] 250 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Be careful with those greentexts.
Now that the source has run out, they're irreplaceable artifacts.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I’m surprised it’s still down (just checked)

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[–] [email protected] 92 points 3 days ago (4 children)

It’s fine, I can easily search 8chan and find greentexts an order of magnitude more deranged. This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg, thankfully/unfortunately

[–] [email protected] 54 points 3 days ago

"why savor a fine bordeux when the local liquor store has horse tranquilizer in plastic jugs" mfer

[–] [email protected] 76 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Back in the day I thought that of /b/.
Those were simpler times. A more… civilized age.

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[–] [email protected] 141 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I'm rationing my greentexts. I only read one line a day

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