this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2024
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Showerthoughts

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Please don't take this satirical thought seriously, just take it for what it is, total nonsense.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It's always been okay. Conservatives don't give a shit about child safety.

Freeze 'em, starve 'em, shoot 'em... as long as there's human suffering to be had!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Don't forget their continued legal right to marry them off to 50 year old men.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Freeze 'em, starve 'em, shoot 'em...

But for the love of God, do not under any circumstances educate them!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Strange fellas, those Conservatives. When I was young, I thought getting education was at least as bad as being starved, frozen or shot. So why is it singled out?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I'm not even a religious person, but you preach the truth!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's not acceptable to freeze children? Brb...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Make sure to thaw them slowly

[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Thank fuck you're here, was going to use defrost on the microwave.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Well microwave was made to defrost frozen Hamster 🐹 to life. You are not too far of the track. If you want to know more there is a Tom Scott video on it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

I saw that! Amazing stuff.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Microwave was actually invented from repurposed radar station parts, but I'm enjoying the comment thread, so carry on..

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

No no, eggs tend to explode in the microwave

[–] [email protected] 121 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Personally, I think every woman should go to jail for keeping her eggs in her ovaries. That’s child imprisonment.

How dare they.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Every egg shed is another egg dead. We need to outlaw tampons and start using corks instead.

Again, don't take my satire seriously, the whole situation is absurd.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Christ, he must be FUMING

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Every woman should empty her menstrual cup into a test tube and mail it in.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

You say it as a joke but what if people started mailing their menstrual blood to the houses of the shitlords passing these laws

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

They can email it in these days right?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago

If you could freeze people, and, this is important, and unfreeze them without any repercussions or harm. Then it would be totally normal to do. Oh I'm going on a trip I'm getting frozen they will thaw me out on the other side.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Political commentators have entered the chat

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Entered? They are in every. fucking. thread. Can't even have fun on fun posts anymore.

It really makes Lemmy suck as much as Reddit did.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Entered? Politicians?

Honestly I wrote this post for my mom. She's probably reading it right now.

If you're gonna be rude, it ain't none of your business.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It also means that abortion in Alabama is now legal as long as you freeze the results.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I keep mine next to the ice cream

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Just don’t accidentally grab the wrong container or it will be murder and cannibalism! Shades of Kronos.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Accidentally?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Holy fuck?!?! I can't find any fault in that logic.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Courts deciding on nature of reality is peak Kafka.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It is not a new story though. A family member argued about a traffic accident, that the description provided by the other side is physically impossible. The judge replied, that physics would not count for humans.

A lot of people who study law do so, because they are terrible at sciences.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Kafka is also not a new author.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

And yet courts making stupid rulings surely predates him? (Even if that example does not)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Sure, but he was the best to describe the absurdity.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago
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