this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2025
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Might sound silly, but every once in a while, random guys around me (pretty short, female) start humming/making random noises when they get near me, usually when I'm alone. Imagine me standing at a red traffic light at night or something. It's never women. Sometimes, it's some creep trying to get my attention, though that's usually kinda obvious.

But I also had it happen with guys who didn't seem like they wanted anything. I lowkey suspect that some might make noises so that I'm not caught off guard or something?

Any men on here who do this? Or am I just tripping?


Edit to summarize: So, a few guys apparently do it on purpose, while others think they might do it subconsciously. Some do it around women, others around whomever, since anyone can get scared. Super interesting.

Also, when I spoke of creeps, I meant actual assholes who did and said shitty stuff, not random socially awkward people. You know the drill.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

If I am alone I will announce myself, but I am usually with my dog and they see her first.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Yes, the fear is typically that we don't want to be accused of following you, sneaking up on you, or being creepy, so there is usually some noise or overt thing we do to try to imply we are just minding our own business.

Sometimes to avoid the situation all together, (let's say I am walking home at night and I see some woman walking the same direction ahead of me, and I know I am going to end up passing her because my pace is faster), then we will literally cross the street just so that we don't have to be put in the awkward situation of walking up to and past you at 3 am on a public sidewalk.

There are other things beyond this as well that men do or avoid doing which women might not realize. Most men in my experience are really careful to never be left alone with children for example. No one blinks an eye if a woman is, but men have learned to avoid potential false accusations in this way as well.

A lot of men are fearful to do something as simple as taking their kids to the park because of this. You can search for articles in which fathers who take their own kids to the park have been accused of being pedophiles just for sitting on a bench while their children play, or accused of kidnapping just because they are an adult man with a child in public. You won't find any articles about this happening with a woman.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

I try to do something to make my presence known because the number of times I've frightened a woman by, from her perspective, appearing out of nowhere, is quite high. I'm a pretty quiet walker too.

I also make extra space on the sidewalk or I'll cross the street at night when I'm overtaking less than 3-4 in a group.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

IDK, maybe, I might be one of those guys and didn't really notice before.
I don't believe I do this differently around women vs men.
I'm often too busy in my own head to pay much attention. So, if your body language isn't sketchy like drunk or overly aggressive, odds are I've zoned out and you didn't register much.

Anyway, I'm a generally silent walker.
If I'm not paying attention, I might end up sneaking up on someone without meaning to, which can then startle them or spook them. Like, I spook my cat often enough and they're the actual predators.

But yea, late at night, I think I might subconsciously make myself known ahead of time just as a simple courtesy.
I'd rather not find out whether anyone's more of a fight/flight person when they finally notice me. Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―

Me? I'm the throat clearing guy. Hi. Ahem.

PS: I have 20+ years experience of throat clearing. Yes I've seen doctors, they didn't find anything other than yea we can see inflammation in your vocal chords, no there's nothing we can do, just stop doing it. That or prescribe random shit that actually fucks up other basic bodily functions and create actual problems.

Anyway, I'm sorry if it's weird.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I'm physically quite large, but most people will outrun me for medical reasons, but you can't tell just by looking at me. It wasn't until #metoo that I considered what it might be like to walk on the street and be afraid for your safety all the time.

My partner shared a few historic experiences which made me want to throw up.

I've read the responses here so far and I've done similar things for the same reasons, noise, humming, nodding, etc.. I'll also cross the road if I think my presence might make someone feel uncomfortable, or if I feel uncomfortable.

I have also walked off a footpath onto the verge to give the person coming towards me, space to move.

I'd be interested to hear what that feels like for people who are experiencing this kind of interaction.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago

Yeah same, I make noise to be less β€œI’m being sneaky” because I’m not trying to be. It never occurred to me this could be taken as β€œI’m trying to start a conversation, while not being in your field of view at all and also not saying any words.” I don’t do this when walking with my wife.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 6 days ago

Not humming, but I do make noise intentionally. I'm a big guy and understand that I could be threatening to women in the wrong circumstance. I also walk fairly quietly just as a matter of the way I walk; so, I've scared folks on more than one occasion by "sneaking" up on them unintentionally. So, if I think I am doing that, I'll land a few footfalls hard and flat to make my foot slap the ground and alert the person of my presence before I get too close. I also try to give space to strangers while walking. Things like moving to the other side of the sidewalk/street, slowing down or speeding up to pass. Basically, trying to not look like I'm stalking them.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I took a different approach, I put my keys on a carabiner so I jingle when I walk. It makes it really hard to accidentally startle people.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 days ago

Yes.

I started doing that when I was walking back to my dorm in college. It was winter, night fell early, and I didn't notice someone 10' ahead of me heading the same way. They got freaked out by the guy following them.

It turned out to be someone who also lived in my dorm, so I "followed" them most of the way home before I realized the issue and called out to them.

We ended up talking for a bit, and I said I'm sorry for scaring them, but the biggest issue was I seemed to come out of nowhere, so when they freaked out they thought I was some creep like, waiting to jump someone.

So yeah, I make noise, for others comfort. I don't even think about it anymore, it's just automatic.

The person I followed wasn't even a woman, he just thought I was gonna mug him, but if I can freak out a 6'2" guy I could freak out anyone by accident.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 6 days ago

I often "accidentally" drag my feet a little bit to make my footsteps are a little bit more audible.

I'm usually a very quiet walker, so I just want to make sure my presence is known, as opposed to startling people.

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