this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2025
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Hair plugs are gender-affirming care.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Musk is eventually going under the bus. Has no one studied history?! This dumbass is being set up as a patsy. Hell, Trump's already backed up the truck, "Uh, he's not really in charge, uh, it's not his fault."

Tomorrow, it will be his fault. Musk is going down hard when shit truly gets wild. Wait and see.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

It's getting harder and harder to tell without looking at the comm which stories are Onions or not.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago

almost ate the onion here

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I swallowed that fucker whole, but I'm about 92% sure that within 4 years, this headline will have become reality.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

At this point is an oracle rather than a comical publication. I remember some years ago they said we gonna deplete our Miley Cyrus reserves.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Damn. Just learned it was fake from you, my friend.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

I give it a year, but I'm usually wrong heh. Tiny snowflakes that are richer than anyone. You'd think being that rich you could learn to laugh it off, or at least afford therapy that teaches you that skill, even if it takes a billion dollars cause you're such a huge dick.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

I just about got Onioned there.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The fact that I had to double check and make sure that this is actually an Onion article and not something real bespeaks what a fucked up world we live in now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

I thought it was real and it didnt surprise me. Guess my view of America has changed a lot lately.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Omg before his ass hair transplant

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

Nice to see he was able to rehire his hair back.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Apparently Trump has merged the standards for spokesmodel and Attorney General now. Was there a swimsuit competition?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

"Yes, Mr. President, we can designate putting too much vermouth in a martini as Domestic Terrorism, and this will give us an excuse to arrest people without a warrant and send them to Gitmo indefinitely without a court order."

"Do it."

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

"I liked it so much, I bought the company!"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

It’s like getting fined by the court for calling Meloni short.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago

I can already see her standing behind the podium with a grey uniform on.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I can’t tell anymore what’s true and what’s parody.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

Actually genuinely surprised to see this was an Onion story.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Satire is meaningless when reality is far more absurd than anything a writer could ever come up with.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

We all said that eight years ago as well. Somehow it’s gotten even worse this time around.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

I recall that sentiment during the Tangerine Turd's first term as well from comedy writers. Like how can you make satire when it's probably been discussed at the oval office? That alone should make any citizen think about what brought on that situation, but if it didn't the first time, sure as hell won't do anything for the believers now. Unfortunately it makes for a poor situation when it happens to the country with the biggest military on the planet.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Just eating onions this week..

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

So crunchy and juicy.

But I've gotten suspicious as well. I check every community before I trust the headline.