Canada

That thumbnail is pretty nasty

I'm convinced the guy is literally doing this because of how it would look on a map. He took a look at how big Canada looks (partially due to Mercator) and thought "Wouldn't it be great if the my country was that big?"

“Nasssty Canada, with its healthcare and reciprocal tariffs!” Krasnov hissed. “It burns us, precious!”

He hunched over in the dim glow of the Oval Office, stroking a golden golf ball in his palms, his eyes darting between it and the maps spread across his desk. “They take advantage of us, yes they do. Always winning, always smug with their free doctor visits and politeness. Weak! But strong! It’s tricksy, so tricksy!”

A cough echoed from the corner. His chief of staff, a weary-looking man with thinning hair, cleared his throat. “Sir, this—uh—this meeting with Prime Minister Trudeau is important. We need to discuss trade.”

Krasnov recoiled, clutching the ball tighter. “Trade?! TRADE?! Filthy free-traders! They cheat us! Steal from us! But we—” He paused, his voice dropping into a desperate whisper. “We could… could take their milk, yes, yes! Their delicious dairy! Make America milky again!”

His chief of staff pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sir, we already produce a lot of milk.”

Krasnov’s face twisted, his fingers tightening around the golf ball like a strangling grip. “No! Canadian milk is special! It’s… socialist milk! It must be destroyed! We put tariffs on it, we crush them, and then we take it for ourselves, yessss!”

A flicker of doubt passed across his face. He shook his head violently, as though fighting himself. “But what if… what if Canada is right?” His voice softened, a pained expression twisting his features. “What if… universal healthcare isn’t nasssty? What if… it’s… good?”

He gasped, stumbling backward, horror-stricken. “No! No, no, no, never! That’s socialism! That’s evil! We hates it!” He flung the golf ball across the room, where it clattered against a bust of Lincoln and rolled onto the carpet.

His chief of staff stared, unsure of what to say.

Krasnov froze, then slowly crawled toward the ball, cradling it again in his hands. “We must punish Canada. Yes, precious. We must make them pay. Or else… or else we lose.”

A long silence followed.

Finally, the chief of staff sighed. “I’ll call the trade representative.”

Public spanking of Donald is in order. Time to put up Wanted sign for Don.

You've managed to piss off the country whose reputation is that they apologize for everything. Stupid idiot.

I have never known a man who needed to get punched in the face worse than Donald Trump. I am not a violent man. I detest "online tough guys" who treat every situation as an excuse to advocate for violence. And I'm not saying I endorse a bullet or a guillotine or something like that. I'm not even saying I'd punch him.

But this man has clearly never been punched in his shit-talking mouth, and if someone had done it 40 or 50 years ago, we wouldn't be here now.

Haha, good one. Ok you can stop joking now. Guys did-- did you hear me? YOU CAN STOP JOKING NOW GUYS

Good.

Let him stick to that line, keeping Canadians angry and trade negotiations stalled. He's helping us maintain the momentum needed to build a stronger Canada and end reliance on U.S. trade for good. When he and his ilk are all eventually deposed, the U.S. will have to make many concessions to get (partially) back into our good graces. If that doesn't happen, our need for political separation will only increase.

No deal is the best deal.

Tell your representatives/Carney to stop cowering, and spending on military vs Russia, and to be more aggressive on winning trade war. Cancel F35s today. Can renegotiate much better later if trade war resolved.

Come on up here Trump, say that to our faces!

Good. Proud to be Canadian.

Diaper Don is further gone than Old Yeller was when his owner took him back behind the shed. Just sayin'

I wish Australia and the UK were as nasty as Canada. Tariff the US already you cowards.

So why does he want to annex Canada if it's so "nasty"?

Donald Trump was meant to die in prison.

Dear Canadians,

Despite being fully taken over by morons, this soon-to-be US expat loves you.