No Stupid Questions

No, there are not. Form a union, get contractually obligated dignity and respect.

There are non profits, that is about it for this capitalistic hell scape. You do not need to volunteer at them, plenty have actual jobs. They can't pay market rate, but more of a non profit rate, but it's not bad

By definition, no. You can volunteer for a non profit, like the Linux foundation, but you won't make much money.

Government services aren't company, and some do develop technology, place like US national institute of Health, or US NASA, or US department of Energy come to my mind, but any first world nation would have tons of similar things. As usual doesn't mean there is no bullshit to deal with (You know the saying about reserarcher main job is to look for fundings)

Then there is FOSS sofware some of them being managed by non profit who can afford to pay their developers

finally, there is a whole non profit/charity/coop part of the economy, and considering the weigh of technology, you may have some jobs linked to technology. (But managing let's say the "red cross ERP" sounds as awful as managing any other corporate ERP)

I recognize that this is a very different angle but there is a global trend for free open source software which are non profit by design.

Of course this basically means you need to be a developer and than there is still the question about how to survive within economic society.

I doubt you want to live from donations coming from where you are now.

The sweet spot, which might be viable for you is an open source devision within a for profit company. Many industries have started to understand the massive value of open source software and standards. Companies like redhat build open source tools on one side but then sell industry tailored packages and support to enterprises for profit. Even Nvidia has started to open source some level of their drivers because they realized that enthusiast will often improve on those for zero costs.

I imagine in some of those divisions its just like a normal company with not just devs but all kinda of roles your direct product will be used by the for profit stuff but also be free for everyone else out there that might need it.

but being pulled aside and being asked to kiss the ring felt disgusting.

You are absolutely right here. It is a very shitty boss. They can happen everywhere, but still not all are like that one.

I am an expert in my field, too, and I would have my way of withstanding such a guy. Not sure, however, if it is possible in Usa. I am in Germany.

are there still companies that exist in the USA or outside that still give a fuck about what they're doing and not just inflate that companies value

There are. At least here. The work culture is much better in general (but very different between companies), because such single specimen of asshole bosses are not that powerful here. Firing somebody is a regulated process, and things can be reviewed later by independent people, in the company or in court.

As long as companies are not that huge, they usually care better about what they are doing.

To improve your work conditions you have to demand it for yourself. As long as workers allow it to happen, their bosses will do everything to increase profits on the expense of the workers. Unionising your workplace is the only secure way to gain back your power.

I have a couple decades experience as a software engineer and manager. I don’t know if you’re ready to hear my answer, but here it is:

You might be in a bad situation, it’s hard to say with a single data point. There are bad bosses out there and it can be a nightmare, even at a good company. The “easy” fix is to try working on a different team or a different company and see if that solves the issue. Easy is in quotes because, as an immigrant, it may be tough to move to another employer.

The harder answer is to look inside yourself.

Your title asks about non-capitalistic companies. There are non-profits, but I don’t think capitalism is your problem here. You’re still going to run into problems at non-profits or even volunteering in open source if you aren’t able to integrate well with teams.

There are always going to be cultural expectations no matter where you go. The situation you described about having a 1:1 over asking questions suggests you either have an overly sensitive manager or your manager is right and you are not effective with your feedback. Asking questions can open up conversations or be used to bully people you disagree with.

The way you disagree matters. It’s not enough to be right, you need to persuade other people to be right too. As a manager, I’m focused on the team’s output and if one person is causing problems with the group dynamic, I’m going to address it.

I’m hiring right now and have passed on candidates who fall into the “brilliant jerk” stereotype. There’s research that shows that those types drag the rest of the team down. Remember, I’m focused on the entire team, so any one person needs to fit into that context.

If you find that your interpersonal skills need a boost, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” has good advice but it’s hard for some people to accept advice like “let other people be wrong when it doesn’t matter” and “compliment people.”

The other thing I’m reading in your post is that you may be burned out. The classic solutions for that are therapy, rest, exercise, and investing in life outside work. It’s hard to spot burnout sometimes, but check in with your support group.

So that’s 3 options forward: change your situation, improve your skills, or rest up and recover from burnout. Good luck.

I’ve worked for a small business in tech for 15 years- it’s a great company that cares for its people. I think some of what you’re describing is just the nature of larger companies. The bigger the machine, the smaller the cog.