Yep, another birthday is soon rolling around for me also. Luckily the friends who wish me happy birthday always call and do it in "opera" voices so it's extra annoyingly loud and obnoxious. One can never be too embarrassed on one's birthday, right?
this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2024
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OK, my friends have an alternate happy birthday song, which is infinitely better, and still fulfills the societal expectation of a birthday song. The lyrics go like this:
This is your birthday song.
It isn't very long.
Hey!
*single clap for punctuation*
I'd suggest adopting it into your friend group for a better future.
I like that idea, but I have a better one that no one seems to catch on to yet. Namely, at most, walk by me, say "happy birthday," then forget about the fact that it's my birthday. Not saying anything also works.
I figure it's impossible to fight the tide, but maybe you can channel it a little bit.
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My fetish is to meet a woman on tinder, take her to a restaurant, and excuse myself. I then go tell the staff it's her birthday so they go sing happy birthday to her while she is alone at the table.
I then leave.
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You're consistently fighting a losing battle against time... do you remember... you're getting older... do you remember... death is coming.... do you remember?
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I have only had to endure this 5 or 6 times in my life every year people would try to get me into it and i respectfully decline . But sometimes they show up at 12 with cake and shit and i just go along with it because i don't wanna dissapoint them knowing how much effort they put into it.
Just start taking your clothes off, the song ends real fast.
My mother-in-law and father-in-law (before he died) used to call me on the phone and sing it to me with her singing harmony, while he also played guitar. And while the skill was appreciated... the first couple of times... it got old fast. And taking off my clothes would probably not help in that situation. I mean, obviously I did that anyway, but it didn't help.
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