this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2025
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Yeah, makes sense. Autonomic issues play hell with the arousal cycle. That alone could well be the root cause.
But, hey, I had some issues after the last breakup I went through. It was pretty destructive to my sense of self, libido, and performance. It wasn't infidelity that caused it, but I reckon it's similar enough to merit saying that it is definitely something that not only passes with time, but can be treated with therapy. If you have the ability to do that, I would. Then, when you do meet someone, be honest about it. Just say that you had a bad divorce, and you're worried it might take a little understanding to get things going right. You'd be amazed how chill women can be about that kind of thing. Helpful, even.
I run into the "dude, I need a break, my vagina is tired" myself. Different reasons, but it's a thing I learned to be up front about. Most of my partners over the years, they were totally down with making things work in a mutually enjoyable way. It just took me being willing to talk about it.
My wife? She came along after the bad breakup, and the way she responded to my issues was so great.
So, don't let that anxiety fuck with you. It's a reasonable, rational concern, but it has answers and solutions. You got this :)
Thanks for the words of encouragement.
It really wouldn't surprise me if the autonomic dysfunction was a partial cause of it. I still find it has surprises in store for me. I can exercise and intensely, but only in the right environment. Humidity has to be right, fully hydrated, heat has to be right, my heart rate has to be monitored, otherwise my blood pressure will plummet and the rest of my body does too.
When I was a kid, i was always almost last place in phyed running. Id faint at baseball, basketball, carrying heavy things. Eventually a cardiologist said "yo wait a minute" and did a whole series of tests and found that I sweat abnormally, my body doesn't link heart rate and blood pressure correctly, and there's something up with how my digestive system responds to food.
It shares similarities with several neuropathies, but I'm not diabetic, and I didn't have any illnesses as a kid that would cause it that we know of. It's also almost identical to Long-COVID syndrome, so I was kind of super happy that appeared, and hoped that I might get some answers.
Man, that's a whole syndrome messing with you. Afaik, nobody has found what causes the body to do it, but everyone I've known that deals with it end up so frustrated before they get diagnosed. Hell, even afterwards, because treatment options aren't exactly great.
Sorry you're dealing with all that
Yeah the diagnosis was POTS way back when. And the treatment is Gatorade and potato chips and small doses of beta blockers to limit the heart rate.
I guess I didn't think that it would affect everything related to the autonomic system. Yay, even more surprises.