gondaily

Today was a terrible day.

Mind you, it wasn't that bad, of course it wasn't... But I'm still reeling from it.

Now, to start off, my alarm didn't go off. Or rather, I predicted my alarm wouldn't go off, and it didn't, so my safety alarm did go off and it was OK but it was a pain in the ass to confirm that my alarm didn't go off. I still have to fix it; I don't even know what's wrong.

Then, I fell off my bike. I bike to school, so I'm used to the commute. It's not particularly rare for some inconsiderate prick to hog the bike path, so I barely got annoyed at that... I just went on the side, fine, and then made a turn to get back on the right way. It rained last night. I was going a little too fast... I hydroplaned? I don't know, but my tires slid! There were people around, but seemingly nobody noticed. It wasn't particularly noisy, I guess, but I felt simultaneously relieved that nobody saw me and offended that nobody came to my aid! Whatever... The much bigger issue was that I was wearing my favourite jeans, which are now in the wash on account of the green stains all over them. OH THE TRAGEDY!!!! MY JEANS, MY JEANS!!! WHYYYYYYYY!!!! and other lamentations... My hands still hurt a little bit, I did cut myself, though I didn't bleed or anything. I'm fine. The bike was fine. But the jeans...

Alright, that's OK. I got to school relatively unharmed. Lunchtime came around. I happened to see my housemates as I was exiting the canteen. They greeted me, alright, no problem, but then they tried to shake my hand. I thought they were going for a dap. TWICE! I missed... Two handshakes, in a row. It was awkward. Well, they showed no signs of anything, but I felt it. I felt it. I know it was terrible, I still feel it. I literally screamed out as I wrote this paragraph, that's how painful this is for me.

You're not ready.

Then, I met a colleague and his girlfriend. Just a few paces from my failed handshakes. Guess what? I waved, he reached out, I reached out, he kept walking, then his girlfriend reached out, I took my hand away because he kept walking. So... I missed another 2 handshakes. 4 handshakes.

In a row.

4 handshakes in a row. Missed.

Am I the most awkward being in existence? Perchance.

The pain, can you imagine the pain? What I'm feeling right now?

Dirty pants, wounded hands. Wounded hands.

I am not joking, by the way. I know the events of this day seem wholly unbelievable. You, reader, must be thinking something akin to "this dude is lying on the internet," but I assure you, this happened. This really, really happened.

I'm gonna go write my fanfic and... I don't know, drown my sorrows, I guess...