Yawn.

We don't live on flavourless (with a u, as is right and proper) food and bad pairings. We have almost all the cuisines of the world at our disposal. I've eaten carbonara, butter chicken, sundubu ramen, and black bean quesadillas this week alone, as well as a traditional roast chicken dinner with all the trimmings.

But even if you do just stick with Bri'ish classics, you could have a full English, a steamed steak and kidney pudding, kedgeree, a rich and warming Shepherd's pie, fish and chips, bangers and mash with onion gravy and some fiery English mustard, a hearty bowl of cullen skink, and today, of all days, maybe throw in haggis, neeps, and tatties with a whisky sauce. None of these are lacking in flavour unless you're a shit cook.

Historically British food wasn't heavily spiced because we had plentiful access to quality ingredients so we didn't need to mask any potentially iffy flavours with a heavy layer of spice. And then we went around the world and conquered a quarter of its landmass and a quarter of its population and brought home a lot of the world's recipes.

What fucked us was two world wars and rationing that lasted for decades after when most British cooks suddenly lost access to fancy items like spices and had to make do with the absolute basics (and shitty versions of the absolute basics like powdered eggs). We didn't have all those quality ingredients we were used to, we just had fucking spam. And nothing to spice it up with. Not surprisingly, our cuisine took a bit of a hit for a while. But we got better. Promise. Come round my place and I'll cook you up a storm of flavour. With a u. As is right and proper.