this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
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Try disagreeing with the hive mind. Anyone can be nice to someone who echo's their own opinion. The real niceness of a person is revealed when they can show civility to people they disagree with (I'm not talking about LGBTQ oppressors or Nazis......there's a huge spectrum of opinions that aren't extreme).
I don't know. I am still as opinionated and difficult as I ever was on Reddit, but I also turn it around, display civility, and cede points far more often here. Maybe I'm becoming better, but I think it's just a better situation overall.
I've received way more bitter and raged out responses here than I've ever received on Reddit for very lukewarm vanilla takes. I'm not saying Lemmy is full of extremists but there is a user base here that is all or nothing. My guess is it's age related though.
Overall the people here are nicer.
The extremes are higher though - some people were booted from Reddit for a reason, and they came here.
Yea. I agree. There is a nice median and really strong extremes. But those extremes sometimes hog up the convo.
The presence of the high end of the extreme is what blew me away though. On Reddit I had given up all hope bc it never happened (even from myself, as I kept becoming more defensive, more snarky but less kind) while here the fact that it sometimes, heck even often happens, is just... outstanding!:-) 😍
Also the low end of the extreme is concentrated into specific instances, such that blocking Lemmygrad.ml and hexbear.net will improve someone's experience on the Fediverse by ~90%, and then blocking users from lemmy.ml (with the PieFed Lemmy alternative, or either the Sync or Connect Lemmy apps, or lemmy.cafe, dubvee.org, or quokk.au at the instance admin level) improves by a further 90% I found.
So the structure of the curve matters greatly here, to someone's quality of experiences in the Fediverse.:-)
The version of someone you invite in the door determines the initial trajectory of how that person will act in the community. You can invite in the leading edge of someone's developing kindness or invite in the ossifying mass of their nature that is threatening to turn hateful and uncaring. No one instance of invitation to a new person (however that may happen, formally or informally) pushes the needle far either way within any one particular person (though sometimes it can radically do so) but the overall integrated effect is a moderate shift of the an entire community towards the better or worse version of the community members. When this effect is used for good people often describe the resulting community space as a community that accepts them for who they are or more succintly is a genuinely safe space.
Of course, every interaction is in an invitation in some small way, it doesn't just happen once.
I'm on BlueSky on top of IceShrimp because anything better than Twitter is good to use at this point.
Let's see how downvoted I get.
I'm also on BlueSky as well as Mastodon, because BlueSky has the momentum right now, and critical mass is important.
In that same vein, I wish you'd treat LW as you do any other instance. We're not hostile to other instances, and I think there's a healthy balance right now. It doesn't hurt Lemmy to have a bigger, more mainstream instance. I think defederation solely for the sake of defederation does hurt Lemmy.
I never advocated for defederation of LW, just for more decentralization rather than have 90% of the active communities on LW.
You never answered my latest comment: https://lemmy.world/comment/13624614
What prevents you from locking [email protected], redirect to [email protected], and get that community more active?
I can even make you or any other LW mod mod of that community too, I'm not attached to being a mod, I just want communities to flourish on other instances as well.
Because besides monthly active users, LW has 4,600 subscribers where lemm.ee has 537. It's not a clear cut case.
What good is 4600 subscribers when 754 are active?
I just checked the updated numbers, now it's 2.57k monthly active users for lemm.ee vs 958 on LW.
On [email protected], we actively build the community, we have a best of 2024 post, we opened the moderation posts to any person willing to help, while you keep that community unmoderated with 2 bots as mods.
Really, I just don't understand. What are you afraid of? I'm pretty sure that [email protected] had more subs than [email protected] when it was locked down, but it was still okay, because the activity was happening on the sopuli instance.
I just checked, [email protected] has more subscribers than [email protected] , but the slrpnk community was still chosen when the consolidation happened: https://lemm.ee/post/46935805
If you're afraid about losing the people, you just pin a post, point to the new community, similar to [email protected], and that's it.
I did everything fair. "Not happy with the community? Create your own, and become the better one!". I did, everything, and while we've had success, the LW staying open hinders the growth of that topic as a whole.
You ask me to treat LW as any other instance, but no other instance is reacting in that way, preferring to keep some of their communities open when other people actively try to build an active community on a topic that apparently only a few people are interested in anyway.
https://lemmy.world/post/23079780
Thank you! 🙏