this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2024
252 points (98.5% liked)
The Onion
4704 readers
548 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I love vinegar, so I'm not mad at Tabasco, but if I want something vinegary and only kind of spicy, I'm going for Cholula. But anyone who thinks there's a universal hot sauce is crazy. Different flavor profiles compliment different things. I have a couple of green sauces, a mango habanero, a chipotle, some Frank's, regular and garlic cholula, sriracha (made by the original farm), and if we add spicy stuff that isn't technically hot sauce, the list gets even longer.
...I'm temporarily banned from buying any more hot sauce.
My wife loves hot sauce but her choices are... confusing. Like sure, I get it, you want more heat. But it's like she prioritizes heat over, y'know, a balanced and harmonious flavor profile. Like hey, maybe red pepper flakes would complement that pasta sauce better than whatever Tex-Mex sauce happens to be within arm's reach. Maybe that steak that I've been sous viding in garlic and herbs would taste better with fresh cracked pepper and horseradish then that mango habanero sauce.
Has she burned her taste buds off? I know some people are like that but I don't get it. There are so many hot sauces that you can make pretty much anything spicy AND flavorful.
She actually jokes that I did, since my spice tolerance is still higher than hers. She appreciates other flavors too, she just pairs things bizarrely
I admittedly had a period where I exclusively used Sriracha. I think it’s more of phase than a committed lifestyle.
As for the ban, building a sliding pantry next to the fridge will get you plenty of extra sauce space.