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for the non-pedologists:
Sandy clay is a textural box on the soil triangle. It's small and requires the absence of silt. The reason we joke about them not existing is because of the size of the box and how far apart the two grain sizes are. There are very few scenarios where sand and clay would be deposited and not silt.
https://websoilsurvey.nrcs.usda.gov/app/
Use this tool. Click the green button on the webpage, search up your location, on the toolbar click on the red square and draw a box around your yard, click soil map. On the left of the screen, you'll see a list of soil types on your property with their textures
Damn this one helped a ton. Apperantly it's gravely sandy loam, but they 100% have the rock composition wrong, but that's to be expected because my property is on a ridge.