this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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That's good for you, but don't act like that's the typical ADHD experience. There is literally no benefit to this for me. It's a disability. There are so so so many neurotypical people who also meet the description of the advantages you're talking about. It's nothing unique to ADHD. And, that's great for you, I'm glad you're able to find what you believe to be a silver lining, but don't say it's some sort of universal advantage of ADHD. My wife has ADHD and definitely doesn't have that aspect.
One thing I've learned about ADHD is that since we can't control our thinking, we are each so divergent from the typical experience that we have little in common even with one another aside from common symptoms and the obvious reaction to those symptoms. My experience is not at all to invalidate anyone else's experience. That being said, it's very likely that the reason you are with your wife is at least partly due to how she is, and how she is is heavily influenced by her adhd. There are likely things you love about your wife that are directly influenced by her adhd or her life experience living with adhd.
If my wife and/or I were to magically lose our ADHD I firmly believe we'd stay in love. We've been together for 16 years and married for 10. I've been with them for over half of my life. We've both drastically changed from the people we were to the people we are now. Neither of us would likely fall for the other if we were meeting our past selves (assuming age isn't a factor, obviously lol).