this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
51 points (96.4% liked)

Asklemmy

43918 readers
1420 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I need advice because Iโ€™m scared lol.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago

Crushes are fun, but we romanticize the person into someone they're not.

This. So much this. I fell in this trap a few times and even though I overcame the fear of asking out and the other side accepted and we dated a few times, eventually my disappointment with the difference between what I imagined the person would be vs how the person actually is would kick in and I would start blaming the other person and/or start criticizing the other person.

I now realize that I was trying to force the other person into my personal view of "how that person should be" and that was very unfair to them but I didn't realize what I was doing while doing it.