this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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Yesterday my dad called me a loser because I am underemployed right now. I am looking for another job that fits with the uni break, asking managers for more shifts, trying to better myself by actually having hobbies for once in my life and doing things with friends. Yeah, I still don't wake up super early, and yeah, I'm not happy with my life either, but I feel like I'm getting somewhere, after years of fighting battles in my mind and making shitty decisions.
Then you've got my twin sister who has had a full-time job even when she was studying, has a mortgage and her life is work, and she can get through each day without having to reassure herself that she's going to be fine. Most people my age aren't lucky enough to be in this position, but somehow this is the standard I'm expected to uphold. No one says it, but just by the way people in my life baby me around, I can tell that that's the way they want me to be.
/ end vent with lots of cognitive distortions
He did apologise, saying he believes in me and that he was just trying to push me, but that's definitely a mean thing to call someone.
It's the sort of comment that might have motivated him as a young man, and may be motivational for your twin, but definitely is not effective as a motivator for you. And as your parent he should have seen that a lot earlier.
Yes, he should know by now I'm sensitive!
He may be sincere in his apology, but I'm so sorry you experienced that from your father. The things our parents say tend to stick around a while in our heads (my egg donor said "you're just like your father!" And slapped me when I replied "good!" lol, I'll never forget), but know that YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!!!!! no one here would ever say or think that about you, because it's untrue! You are nowhere near to being a loser and your dad should spend the rest of his life making it up to you imo.
We love you!
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