this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2024
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Laundry is out... going through the clothes after avoiding it all morning. Emotions! Letting go of clothes that have meant a lot in the past but over the last few years of numbness that started during the lockdowns, barely looked at let alone worn. I'm not into dressing up much, but I miss the person who used to wear these. Some things I'm happy to let go of though. Lots of things from 12-14 years ago ๐ฌ
"I'm not into dressing up much, but I miss the person who used to wear these." Wow, that hit hard. I've got longline leather jacket, silk shirts etc that I used to wear but haven't in years and I can't let them go yet, I feel like I'd be throwing out part of myself. I got rid of all my high heeled boots years back, when motherhood arrived, and I still get upset about it sometimes. Did I really have to? But I was the one mostly left literally holding the baby, high heeled boots aren't sensible at all, and there was so much finger wagging from my in-laws about celebrities in ridiculous heels holding newborns.. Now I'm a fat mumma and a factory worker, not a glamorous or hip person at all. Sometimes I miss who I used to be. I had to give up so much as a mother, and I adore my kids but to be truthful it's sometimes a sore point. I swore I wouldn't be that person and here I am, wearing Millers Woman from the op shop, polishing off cupcakes from Coles because I am sad. Wow, that's pathetic, I didn't realise how bad it'd gotten!
You'll find yourself again once the kids are more independent. Then you'll be the more mature & improved, more confident Peeler Sheila.
This!