this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2024
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Laundry is out... going through the clothes after avoiding it all morning. Emotions! Letting go of clothes that have meant a lot in the past but over the last few years of numbness that started during the lockdowns, barely looked at let alone worn. I'm not into dressing up much, but I miss the person who used to wear these. Some things I'm happy to let go of though. Lots of things from 12-14 years ago π¬
"I'm not into dressing up much, but I miss the person who used to wear these." Wow, that hit hard. I've got longline leather jacket, silk shirts etc that I used to wear but haven't in years and I can't let them go yet, I feel like I'd be throwing out part of myself. I got rid of all my high heeled boots years back, when motherhood arrived, and I still get upset about it sometimes. Did I really have to? But I was the one mostly left literally holding the baby, high heeled boots aren't sensible at all, and there was so much finger wagging from my in-laws about celebrities in ridiculous heels holding newborns.. Now I'm a fat mumma and a factory worker, not a glamorous or hip person at all. Sometimes I miss who I used to be. I had to give up so much as a mother, and I adore my kids but to be truthful it's sometimes a sore point. I swore I wouldn't be that person and here I am, wearing Millers Woman from the op shop, polishing off cupcakes from Coles because I am sad. Wow, that's pathetic, I didn't realise how bad it'd gotten!
From what you've posted here, it sounds like you're doing amazing with what you have on your plate.
You're an incredibly strong person, and I have a hell of a lot of respect for you.
Don't throw those clothes away. They're waiting for you when the time is right.
And there will be a time.
Don't lose hope β€οΈ
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Oh no Peeler. I felt so sad reading your comment. I don't know what to say because I haven't had such a big transition forced (?) on me in life, but I personally think the part of you that is fun and exciting and curious about the world is still there in the way you write β how you observe the world. Please don't be so hard on yourself, you are a truly amazing woman no matter how you look on the outside π
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You'll find yourself again once the kids are more independent. Then you'll be the more mature & improved, more confident Peeler Sheila.
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This!
If itβs any consolation I didnβt have kids and that happened to me too.
Some of my nicer or flashier clothes got ruined in storage but whatβs left of them just isnβt appropriate for my lifestyle or where I am.
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I feel you. I let go of some sentimental stuff that was genuinely never going to be worn again. Other stuff just got yeeted.
I wish I wasnβt so picky or had better luck with shopping.