this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2024
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ADHD

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I have used Modafinil before occasionally, and it helped quite a bit, but the strong side effects forced me to save it for emergencies.

6 days ago first Elvanse. Within about 30 minutes of the first dose, many problems were gone completely! No mental effort to do what's needed, be it laundry or a subtask at work. It feels like my brain is a little butler whom I can just order around without doing it myself. Many things just happen, e. g. I put garbage in the bin, carry dishes back to the kitchen as I go anyway, without thinking about it. Complete instant fix. Also a constant feeling like a hundred bucks, better than many recreational drugs.

Almost feeling bad when gaming at the end of the day, keeping it brief, doing extra work hours right before bed. The effect has somewhat worn off by then, but the no-effort-to-do-things is still there.

I always did feel better when checking things off my todo-list, even untreated, but now I get a lot more done, since there is no pain to just do it.

I can also work out until the body just physically gives in; there is no mental barrier to fight like "ONE MORE REP!!!". It might have been a mistake to exploit that in the first few days, leading to exhaustion and more difficulty to judge the right dose / side effects. When I saw someone who was very buff, I used to think: He may not look like it, but he has fantastic discipline, focus and willpower. Now I wonder if some of these people are just normal, lol

This is a completely different life, and slightly better than Modafinil! I am a little worried about when the effect wears off and I need a break, but I've been there before: A lot can get done with just about 50 "super-days" per year.

What did not improve one bit is my forgetfulness and other cognitive problems. Just as stupid as before, e. g. packing a suitcase, putting things next to it to stash something else and then forgetting them. Leaving my phone in insane places. Barely able to use the self-checkout at a supermarket. It's always an adventure, looking confused between the card screen and the items screen, often needing an employee, forgetting my card there and not realising before the next day etc. Problems with web UIs & pop-ups. That's what my GP wanted checked out 1 1/2 years ago, but no appointments.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 hours ago

I've taken Adderall for the past year and tried some other stimulants. So far adderall is tolerated better by my body and and wallet compared to other meds.

Improvements: Follow-through with tasks since I can hold an idea or thought to the end. Being okay with good enough, I am not fighting my self to make it perfect and just move on. I can read a book. Math is actually interesting since it doesn't feel like I am looking at a shattered mirror of scattered lessons. I am suprised about how much stuff I have retained from school but couldn't utilize. My handwriting is great and doesnt feel like a chore to make it legible. Conversations feel like I'm actually in the room and participating. I don't know how I did customer service and retail before.

What did not improve: My short term memory still sucks. Playing 20 questions to get a super simple concept out is shorter but still happens. Procratination is just different, now I do some productive stuff while procrastinating so maybe it's an improvement. While doing things is easier, the planning phase of anything is a game of moving deck chairs on the Titanic and I just improvise in the end. Time is still an illusion and holy fuck I'm late for work.