this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024
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I mean, there's misgendering and misgnedering, isn't there?
Accidentally calling a woman a man on the internet coz u didn't know is not a big deal.
It can be something liberals use for their witch hunts.
not knowing someone's pronouns & assuming wrong =/= misgendering
knowing someone's pronouns and intentionally using the wrong ones = misgendering
Also, fighting years of muscle memory =/= misgendering.
I might have misgendered an old friend of mine shortly after they started transitioning, but they knew it was a mistake and didn't seem to care.
My mother uses that excuse though, same excuse she uses to call me my old name, and to say that I'm a man. Horrible old witch. I know it's an excuse because she doesn't bother correcting herself, she keeps going and is insistent that I'm actually a man and that it can't be changed.
There's clearly a different intent there.
That sounds extremely frustrating. I hope you have other people around to support you.
I'm very glad that being non binary didn't bring the pronoun changes to me (yet) otherwise it would be a nightmare getting my family to use them.
Yeah I don't talk to that old witch anymore. I have friends who are supportive. Sometimes a little too supportive though, like telling me my voice sounds fine or passes when it clearly doesn't pass. I'm glad they're nice but passing or not passing isn't about me feeling better about myself, it's about not being clocked by bigots who might be transphobic to me or hurt me.
I think once or twice in the first couple of months of transitioning that started about four years ago and we're still talking and helping each other indicates that there's no hard feelings. It's also not like I'm neutral on the subject otherwise. The people in this friend group know that I'm an ally on this subject. They also know I can even flub names when I get tired.
You know your mother doesn't respect you. My friends know I respect them.