this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2024
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I don't have fear of my dreams, they are just incredibly disjointed and sometimes jarring if I do remember them. It isn't stemming from abuse or psychological damage that I could go to therapy for, it is likely just because my brain doesn't properly function during sleep.
Signals that should tell me to breathe don't send so I get deprived of oxygen until other signals finally kick in and start my breathing again for a few seconds before the whole thing starts again, for every minute I'm asleep without a CPAP machine I am not breathing for 20 seconds or more.
Lots of adrenaline shocks through the night as my heart gets stressed and I'm sure the mix of stress hormones and neurochemicals mess with how my brain processes dreams. It is akin to the feeling people have described of a bad drug trip.