this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It's very simple - the sun isn't burning. The sun is actually a very large healing crystal. As you may know, healing crystals capture the harmonic vibrations of the universe and turn them into things that are good for our health, like warmth, vitamins, essential oils, and positive ions.

The sun is made out of a healing crystal that converts the vibrations into warmth, witch is what we see as sunlight. The sun is so big that it's able to capture a lot of harmonic vibrations and so it makes a lot of warmth.

The real question is who polished the healing crystal that forms the sun, and who put it up into space. The natural answer is that it's clearly done by my good friend Moonlight Namaste, and she will teach you how to do the same thing if you visit her blog and sign up for her meditation classes. With enough guided meditation, you too will start to see the universal vibrations and learn how to change your oscillations to match the universal vibrations. The first 200 people who sign up will get a free dream catcher, so sign up today!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

But how can a healing crystal cause skin cancer? The sun is a deadly laser, after all...

unless it's also a laser crystal! Gotcha, Illuminati!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Please delete this before any nutjob starts copying it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

No no, let them cook.